Arranged Marriage Culture
Jaki Sabourin asks Jasbina Ahluwalia: I’ve been really excited about this interview because I married my husband and we met online. I’m not going to say anything more about that because you’re the expert here. I know the audience really wants to hear from you, and all about the things you’re going to share and tips that you’re going to provide.
Before we dive in, I want to give the audience a little history and your background.
- You’re the Founder and CEO of Intersections Match.
- You’re the only premier, personalized matchmaking, online dating support and dating and relationship coaching firm for Indian singles.
- You add a unique contribution to the matchmaking industry because you have pioneered an approach to matchmaking that blends the East and the West.
I want to hear more about that philosophy.
I’m really excited about this topic, Online Dating– A Powerful Tool to Get Engaged at Any Age.
Why don’t you tell us how you came to be where you are and how this all unfolded for you?
Arranged Marriage Culture: Don’t Date
As you mentioned, I’m an Indian American lawyer-turned-entrepreneur matchmaker dating coach.
I was born in the States to parents who emigrated from abroad. They emigrated from India.
A lot of us second-generation Indian Americans grew up with the refrain of, “Don’t date, don’t date, don’t date. Okay, now get married.”
Arranged Marriage Culture: What Is Dating?
In India, there is a culture of arranged marriages. It’s less of a culture of dating.
In an arranged marriage, you reach a certain age and your family arranges your marriage and selects your partner for you.
Arranged Marriage Culture: Upbringing
I had a great childhood and teenage years, but dating wasn’t part of it. I focused on school, friends, family, sports and extracurriculars. I really didn’t date.
Fast forward to my late twenties.
I was enjoying my career and ready to take the next step in terms of finding a serious relationship leading to marriage.
Arranged Marriage Culture: Next Generation
There were no prospects in site for me at that point because I hadn’t been dating much.
I decided that I didn’t want an arranged marriage. It didn’t really resonate with me. I wanted to select my partner.
I thought, “It’s up to me. It’s in my hands.” Then I started what I call “Jasbina’s adventures in dating.”
Arranged Marriage Culture: Breaking the Mold
Fast forward to when I met my husband.
I got married and was looking forward again. I thought, “I’m going to want kids. The way I want to raise kids, I don’t see it fitting in with what I’m doing.”
At the time, I was a lawyer in a private practice billing hours. I didn’t see that fitting together with a family. I like to engage people and make an impact on a one-to-one level. That wasn’t part of what I was doing.
Arranged Marriage Culture: New Age of Thinking
I felt it was time to step out and do something else.
I always had this entrepreneurial bug, the idea of creating my own venture and making a high impact in people’s lives.
The idea of navigating one’s way to a partner is something that a lot of people who could use help with.
I came up with this idea. It fit together. Then I created the company.
Arranged Marriage Culture: Collective Change
People gravitated to us who resonated with this idea of, “Don’t date, don’t date, don’t date. Okay, get married.”
We attracted Indian Americans who didn’t want to go the arranged marriage route and did want to select their partner.
That is where we started. That is our core.
We do have interest from people who like this idea of blending the East and the West. That’s something that resonates with them. They want to do something different to get different results.
We are now serving non-Indians as well. It’s been a lot of fun all around.
Were you surrounded by the arranged marriage culture? If so, let us know in the comments section below if you had an arranged marriage or not.
The above is an excerpt from Jaki Sabourin’s interview with Jasbina Ahluwalia
The entire interview transcript is at: