bad must have listIn this video, Jasbina addresses the question:

[VIDEO] Is It Bad To Have A List Of Must-Haves In Men?

I know that lots of people caution against this, but I have a list of what I want in a man. Is this really a bad thing?


Jasbina Ahluwalia

As a matchmaker and dating coach to highly selective men and women, I can tell you that this is a very common question.

Gaining clarity regarding what you seek is a great starting point in your search for a partner.


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For many people, a list can serve as a means to gaining that clarity.  

If you do create a list, make sure it’s a list which will serve you by expanding rather than limiting your pool of potential partners.  

How do you do that?


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Ask yourself three questions:  

  1. First, ask yourself the’ why’ behind every item on your list. For example, if your list says the guy must have a certain degree or be part of a certain profession:
    • Ask yourself exactly which qualities underlie that particular requirement.
    • Could it be that you associate a certain level of intellect with those professions? If so, keep in mind that the level of intellect you seek may be found in men working in a wide variety of careers, including those which require less formal education.
    • Perhaps you associate those degrees with a proven ability to work hard or persevere – what other accomplishments may indicate these abilities?
    • Ask yourself whether the why speaks to your own needs, as opposed to your perception of others’ expectations.
  2. Second, ask yourself–who do I have to be to attract a guy having the qualities on my list?  Consider that finding the right partner involves being the right partner.
  3. Third – Since happily married people oftentimes have found their spouses in packages different from that which they envisioned, make sure your list does not foreclose the possibility of a partner in an unexpected package :-).



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What do you think?

Is It Bad To Have A List Of Must-Haves In Men? Share your thoughts in the comments below.


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