Indian Parents Focus on Marriage
Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Sanjit Singh: author of Are You Indian? A Humorous Guide to Growing up Indian in America: What is your advice for Indian parents who want to make it easier for their kids to find life partners?
Maybe they don’t realize that there are situations where they are making it harder and they do want to make it easier.
Do you have any suggestions or advice? This is for an auntie who is sensitive to the whole situation. What might you say to her?
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Would this be advice to aunties and uncles in general?
Indian Parents Focus on Marriage Difficult for Their Kids
Yes. There are some of the issues that you’ve touched on in situations where they may make it more difficult for their kids to find life partners.
I’m personally dealing with the people that I’m matching, but often, their parents make a line of inquiry for me as well.
I sometimes see myself as the liaison between the generations.
Is there any advice or suggestions that you might have for an Indian parent? They might say, “Okay, I hear you on that. I’m not going to be the Pitbull Auntie.”
What might you say to them?
Inflexible Indian Parents Focus on Marriage
On a more serious note, I was mentioning earlier that they may be inflexible.
I think it’s fine to stay involved with the process and give some general guidelines and advice based on your life experience. I think your kids want to hear that.
If you overdo that and overplay your hand, start becoming rigid, inflexible and start demanding certain things, that’s where people run into trouble.
Indian Parents Focus on Marriage but Stay Open-Minded
I think people need to be more open-minded about people marrying outside of their race and religion. It’s happening all the time anyway.
If Indian parents erase some of those things, it may not make such a huge difference in terms of success of the marriage.
- Do they get along?
- Are they a good person?
- How do they manage conflict together?
- Do they manage conflict well?
- Are they a respectable person except for this one thing that I’m hung up on?
- Maybe I shouldn’t be hung up on that one thing.
I think that’s what I would advise parents. I think our generation is a little bit more flexible because they went through having to deal with that.
Indian parents focus on marriage in most families. How do you manage the pressure? Share your stories with us in the comments section below.
The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Sanjit Singh
The entire interview transcript is at: Sanjit Singh Interview – Are You Indian?
Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show
Listen to the entire interview on iTunes