Unexpected Romance: Unlikely Match
Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Rachel Greenwald, author of, Have Him at Hello: Confessions from 1,000 Guys about What Makes Them Fall in Love or Never Call Back: Easy-going is not high maintenance, which I hear from a lot from men in terms of what they’re not looking for. Here are some things to do on a positive note. I like that.
Based on your research in speaking with so many men and women, can you give our female listeners a take-home message? You’ve given many already. Is there any other take-home message that you want to share?
In my dating experience, after interviewing 1,000 men and 100 women for my newest book, Have Him at Hello, I reflected on why I’ve been able to make so many matches between people. I’m responsible for over 750 marriages.
Unexpected Romance: Real-Life Experience
I was trying to think, after all of this research and all of the conversations I’ve had, all of the couples that I’ve seen walk down the aisle, what is the lesson that I’ve learned more than anything else in all this experience?
The person that you are ultimately going to fall in love with is going to come in a completely different package than you expected.
This is a really significant piece of advice for listeners, both men and women.
Unexpected Romance: The List
It might be some objective criteria, like, “He has to be six-foot tall,” or “She has to be 120 pounds or lighter.” It might be something along those lines that’s more physical.
It might be along the lines of common interests, like, “I have to marry someone who likes tennis,” or “I have to marry someone who is my same religion.”
Unexpected Romance: Internet Effect
A lot of these things are a product of the internet boon. It seems like you can get online and build a date exactly according to the interests that you have and you want to share with your partner or the attributes about your background that you want to have in common.
Unexpected Romance: The Surprise
The truth is, whenever I’ve seen two people fall in love, they’re just about to get married or they’ve just walked down the aisle, I say to them, “How did you find each other? What was it that drew you to each other?”
The answer is always, “I was so surprised that this is the person I fell in love with. He was nothing like what I thought I wanted.”
It has been really powerful for me to observe that again and again.
The things you think you want may not be the things that you need. You have to be really open.
Unexpected Romance: Three-Date Rule
For my matchmaking, I have a three-date rule.
I make everyone go on three dates, as long as the first date wasn’t horrendous.
If there was something absolutely terrible about the person, they were disgusting, rude or inappropriate in some way then it’s okay. The first date can be the last date.
As long as they say, “It was nice. It was nothing special. It was okay,” then I make them go on three dates.
I can guarantee you one thing. You are going to fall in love with someone completely unexpected.
Share with us your unexpected romance tales in the comments section below.
The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Rachel Greenwald
The entire interview transcript is at: Rachel Greenwald Interview: Have Him At Hello!
Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show
Listen to the entire interview on iTunes