Relationship Advice: Don’t Take It From Friends

Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Susan Winter – Author of the book ‘Allowing Magnificence: Living the Expanded Version of Your Life’: Speaking of recalibration and no mistakes, what are the biggest pitfalls that a woman could make today in trying to find love? This is given all the challenges that you mentioned.


[More from Jasbina] —> [VIDEO] Intersections Match by Jasbina – From The Founder

—> [VIDEO] Women Ignore Obvious Red Flags – Why?


Susan Winter

I’m going to say something that probably isn’t something you’re expecting to hear. Quit listening to what the world is telling you.

Relationship Advice: Friends and Magazines

The worst advice you can get is from most of your girlfriends or from those dumb magazines that tell you what to do.

I have never seen more bad advice tailored to young women telling them 27 things to turn him on in bed and never once asking, “What do you want?”

They’re telling you to look really hot in those high heels but never asking you, “Do you even want to wear high heels to begin with? Is that even your style?”


[More from Jasbina] —> [INTERVIEW] Marla Martenson Interview – Insights on Matchmaking & Dating


Confusing Relationship Advice

I think young women are most susceptible to being confused because they’re not listening to themselves.

In the evolution of finding your authentic self, in the beginning, you take on what everyone is telling you to do.

Your friends are probably giving you all the wrong advice because they’re as messed up as you are.

You Give The Best Relationship Advice

When you’re confused, the best thing you can do is to quit listening to everything that anyone is saying and check in with yourself. How do you feel? What do you want?

What’s right for you? Have the courage to trust yourself. If you could trust yourself early in the game, you would have 30 years on me.

I didn’t wake up until my late 40s. I really didn’t wake up to trust myself. It is what I call the last card in the deck.

I tried this and that. I pulled up number 52, the last card. I tried different spirituality. I tried different ideas. I tried to do what the world said. Some worked sometimes. Some worked in some cases. I never got the right answer.

Then I thought, “What would happen if I listened to myself?” When you listen to yourself, the first thing you will notice is that you’re not doing anything like your friends are doing.

You’re making decisions that are so novel, they’re going to shock you. If the impulse tells you to go with it, follow it, because that’s where the magic is.

That’s leading you to yourself. Lighten up on yourself. Trust yourself. Don’t listen to those people.

They don’t know either. The more they clamor and tell you, “This is the way,” the more confused they are.


Jasbina Ahluwalia

That is so empowering. Listening and trusting yourself is wonderful advice. It really refines your gut. It paves the way for deeper trust in terms of that.


[More from Jasbina] —> [INTERVIEW] Parijat Deshpande Interview: Indian Dating & Relationships

—> [VIDEO] I Work Long Hours And Find It Impossible To Meet People To Date – 3 Ideas to Meet Dates!

—> [INTERVIEW] David Wygant Interview – Insights From A Dating Expert

—> [INTERVIEW] Carol Allen Interview – What Men Want



Susan Winter

Trust Yourself: You Have the Right Relationship Advice

It does. If young gals can start early, they will jump on the bandwagon of the slogan that you have that is so magnificent. It is the best version of your authentic self.

Understand that, when you trust yourself, I promise you the choices you make will have your friends telling you that you’re wrong. Then you know you’re right.

If you follow the masses, you will be as confused as the masses.

When you have the courage to listen to yourself and you get the courage to follow yourself, it will look wrong before it ever turns right.

You just stay with it. Your inner wisdom is guiding you in a way that is so far beyond the magazines and the dating information that you’re getting from the masses.

You will start to calibrate that ultimate wisdom, which is your authentic self talking to you.

You Have The Manual for Relationship Advice

You’re born with a manual that is so brilliant. I truly believe this.

I said this in the book, Allowing Magnificence, that we were born with the most magnificent computer program inside us. It’s tailored specifically for us. It’s not the generic factory manual. It is your manual.

When you start to go to that for guidance and listen to that, you’re not only going to feel empowered in the light of everyone else’s comments, but you will feel the results of that unbelievable connection with your truth.

Then it doesn’t matter what the others say. It’s a bit of a transit to get there. You have to weather everyone doubting you.

Taking Your Own Relationship Advice

Before you know it, they’re all following you. That’s how it works.

  1. First they think you’re crazy.
  2. Then they think there is something wrong with you.
  3. Then they don’t want to be around you.
  4. Finally, they’re calling you for relationship advice and you’re on TV shows.

That’s what happened to me. I really believe that’s the way it goes.


How About You?

Have you ever turned to friends for relationship advice and realized it wasn’t the relationship advice you wanted? Share some bad relationship advice stories with us in the comments below.


The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Susan Winters.

The entire interview transcript is at: Susan Winters Interview – Allowing Magnificence: Living the Expanded Version of Your Life

Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show

Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Allowing Magnificence: Living the Expanded Version of Your Life – Susan Winters

Listen to the entire interview on iTunes