David Wygant Interview – Insights From A Dating Expert
“Insights from a Dating Expert”
Jasbina Ahluwalia interviews David Wygant
A few topics David Wygant address in this interview are:
Over the last twenty years, David has become one of the most frequently-quoted dating experts in the media. He offers his advice as a lead writer for Yahoo! Personals and across television segments, newspapers and magazines, including MTV, The New York Times, MSNBC, Fox News, Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health and E! Entertainment Television — as well as on over 2,000 radio shows.
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(00:48): Hello everyone and welcome to Intersections Match’s Talk Radio, a monthly holistic lifestyle show focused on the continual evolution into the best versions of our authentic selves. We and our guests discuss relationships and health and wellness, each of which contributes to meaningful and fulfilling lives. This is Jasbina, your host. I’m the Founder of Intersections Match, the only elite national personalized matchmaking company focused on singles of South Asian descent nationwide in the US.
I’m very excited to welcome David Wygant, an internationally-renowned dating and relationship coach, author and speaker to our show today. Over the last 20 years, David has become one of the most frequently-quoted dating experts in the media. He writes for the Huffington Post, AskMen and offers his advice via numerous communication outlets, including MTV, the New York Times, MSNBC, Fox News and the list goes on. Welcome, David.
(1:46): How are you doing today? I’m good.
(1:49): It’s great to have you on. As a professional dating coach and matchmaker to successful men and women, I’m fascinated by insights supporting people’s efforts to evolve into the best versions of their authentic selves.
I’ve enjoyed reading your book entitled Naked and would love to explore some of the insights that you share. What led you to write this book?
(2:10): I found that people were not dating right. Most people are needy. They want to date based on needs. They say, “I need this. I need to find that. I don’t want to be single anymore. I need to stop being single. I need to find a girlfriend. I need to find a boyfriend. My life is not going to be good unless I find all of this stuff.” It’s so wrong.
Needy people attract needy people. When you’re needy, you will attract neediness. You will attract someone else who will not trust you. They just want a relationship. They just want to have a child.
The bottom line is, I decided to write Naked because, if you don’t strip yourself down to the emotional core that you really are and get totally naked and love yourself, you’re never going to find someone great. You never will. You’re just going to do through life having one mediocre relationship after another.
Dating Excuses: No More!
(3:09): Let’s talk about some of the chapters in your book that I found interesting.
Your book has a great chapter entitled What’s Your Excuse? I’m going to quote from your book.
“It comes down to your mindset and belief system. You have the choice whether or not you’re going to believe your false justifications and allow them to overtake you. Unfortunately, I see people live excuse-filled lives all the time.”
Will you tell us about that and perhaps give an example of what you mean by these excuse-filled lives?
(3:48): I think everyone is full of excuses.
Elaborating on Dating Excuses, No More!
Rejection in Dating Doesn’t Exist
(5:18): Your book has another insightful chapter entitled There’s No Such Thing as Rejection. What do you mean by that?
(5:32): That’s my favorite. There is no such thing as rejection.
Rejection is a made-up emotion. That’s all it is. It’s a made-up emotion that doesn’t exist at all.
Elaborating on Rejection in Dating Doesn’t Exist.
Commit to Dating For Success
(8:30): This dovetails on what you said about the same principles universally applying in love as well as the rest of life.
You had a great story in your book about a woman who decided to apply what you call “CDD” in your book, commitment, desire and discipline, to her relationships the same as what she had done in her professional life.
Will you share with our listeners, what is CDD? It is commitment, desire and discipline. How does this play into your search for a partner?
(9:06): It’s so easy. You have to be committed to this.
Commit yourself to it. Be realistic.
Proactive Online Dating Tips
(10:59): I love that. It’s a mindset. You see this opportunity. Get off the sidelines and see these as opportunities.
Make your opportunities by applying this commitment.
One of the many avenues of meeting people is online dating.
You do mention online dating in your book. You mention many suggestions.
(11:36): Online dating, to me, is just like a cyber-bar in the sky.
Every single day, you have an opportunity to come home and check out who is drinking in the cyber-bar. Take it that way.
Elaborating on Proactive Online Dating Tips.
Childhood Effects Love
You’re making the realization so that you can allow it to pass over you. You’re not terribly concerned with not getting a response to a particular email.
While I enjoyed reading your entire book, my favorite chapter was the one entitled Live Your Rule Book.
I want to quote from the book. “Are you, right now, living a life completely by your own rules? I’m not talking about your parent’s rules, your boss’s rules or your partner’s rules. Living your life by other people’s rules, no matter how well-intentioned they may be, means that you’re living their lives, dreams, frustrations and visions for you.”
Can you share with our listeners why you think living your rule book is so crucially important?
(13:24): It’s because they only have one shot at this thing called life.
We have to understand what our programming is. In Naked, I go deeper into that.
Elaborating on Childhood Effects Love.
(15:24): It’s going full circle, starting with stripping yourself down and figuring yourself out.
I appreciate you sharing your insights with us, David. They’ve been very interesting.
Is there any last thought or take-home message that you’d like to leave our listeners with?
- Get off the pot.
- Stop sitting on the toilet.
- Stop flushing your dreams down.
- Just live.
Take a risk every single day.
I talk about that in Naked. If you take a risk every day for 30 days, you have a new way of living. You have a new reality. You have a brand new way of living your life.
Stop living someone else’s life and live your own.
(16:21): That’s excellent. Thank you so much for joining us today, David. It’s been a pleasure.
(16:25): It was my pleasure.
(16:28): In case you joined us late or would like to share this show with people in your life, I’d like to remind you that today’s radio show will be archived and available as a podcast on Intersections Match’s website, which is www.IntersectionsMatch.com.
David, is there a website that you’d like to share with our listeners?
(16:44): They can go to my website, DavidWygant.com. When men go there, they get a free 17-
minute video. When women go to it, they get a free 30-minute video. It’s a really good introduction to fixing all the issues that are stopping you from meeting great people. I believe that everyone can meet great, wonderful people to date and hang out with.
(17:17): I appreciate you hanging out with us, everyone. Do email me with topics you’d like discussed in future shows. Make sure to join us for next month’s show. Take care, everyone.
What resonated with you most in our discussion with David Wygant? Share your final thoughts with us in the comments section below.