Rebecca Grado Interview – How to be Fierce and Feminine and Get Everything You Want!
“Taming Your Alpha Bitch: How to be Fierce and Feminine (and Get Everything You Want!)”
Jasbina Ahluwalia interviews Rebecca Grado
A few topics Rebecca Grado address in this interview are:
- (1:49) Married Yet Unfulfilled: Alpha Bitch
- (3:23) Law of Attraction: How It Works
- (6:52) Forceful Alpha Bitch: The Behavior
- (10:22) Being Empowered: Make the Change
- (14:35) Controlling Behavior in Relationships
- (17:05) Competitive Behavior is Unhealthy
- (21:09) Drama Queen Behavior
- (23:40) Overcoming Limitation: 3 Steps
Rebecca Grado, MFT is a licensed intuitive psychotherapist, co-founder of the Goddess Retreat — a transformational weekend awakening the radiance and power within women — and co-author of the NY Times bestselling book Taming Your Alpha Bitch: How to be Fierce and Feminine (and Get Everything You want!).
Rebecca has studied metaphysics since 1985 and is a true visionary in her approach to energy work and healing.
(00:47): Hello everyone and welcome to Intersections Match’s Talk Radio, a monthly holistic lifestyle show focused on the continual evolution into the best versions of our authentic selves. We and our guests discuss relationships and health and wellness, each of which contributes to meaningful and fulfilling lives.
This is Jasbina, your host. I’m a former practicing lawyer and the Founder of Intersections Match, the only elite national personalized matchmaking company focused on singles of South Asian descent nationwide in the US.
I’m very excited to welcome Rebecca Grado, co-author of Taming Your Alpha Bitch: How to Be Fierce and Feminine (and Get Everything You Want!).
In addition to being a writer whose work has been featured with bestselling authors Dr. Wayne Dyer and Anthony Robbins, Rebecca is a licensed psychotherapist who holds a master’s degree in counseling and a bachelor’s degree in clinical psychology. Welcome, Rebecca.
(1:45): Thank you. I’m so happy to be here with you today.
Married Yet Unfulfilled: Alpha Bitch
(1:49): It’s a pleasure to have you on. As a professional dating coach and matchmaker to successful men and women, I’m fascinated by insights supporting people’s efforts to evolve into the best versions of their authentic selves.
I’ve really enjoyed reading your book and would love to explore some of the insights shared in your book. What led you to write this book in the first place?
(2:12): I’ve been a psychotherapist for over 25 years. I work primarily with women.
The one thing I hear over and over is a central theme from women of, “I’m overwhelmed. I’m working so hard in my life. I’m doing well.”
Elaborating on Married Yet Unfulfilled.
Law of Attraction: How It Works
(3:23): Will you explain to our listeners the concept of the manifestation formula with respect to the interrelationship among beliefs, thoughts, feelings, energy and outcome?
That’s a great place to start to understand the insights that you share. Tell us about that.
(3:47): Most of us are aware of the Law of Attraction. It’s out there. What we have come to know is that we all have a vibration. This is a vibrationally based universe.
Everything has a specific vibration. That vibration is almost our communication to the universe, however you want to define that.
What we put out, comes back to us.
Elaborating on Law of Attraction.
Forceful Alpha Bitch: The Behavior
(6:52) I love the idea of co-creation and the empowering thought behind that.
Your book discusses four common alpha bitch behaviors and how each of these behaviors is actually triggered by the core beliefs of lack and insufficiency, which in turn, send us spiraling into panic and fear.
I’m wondering if you will explain to our listeners the first of the four common alpha behaviors, which you term the “forceful alpha,” in the context of relationships.
(7:33): The first of the four behaviors that absolutely sabotage all the things that we want to create is being very forceful or overbearing.
Again, that’s the part of us that has lost track of the realization that it’s our own inner power. When we tap into that, it creates all things.
Elaborating on Forceful Alpha Bitch: The Behavior.
Being Empowered: Make the Change
(10:22): Those are some wonderful analogies. I found the words you used in the book very compelling.
You make an insightful distinction between wielding force on the one hand and then embodying power. I think you’ve already spoken to this. Tell us about that distinction.
Like you said, it’s not a matter of being submissive but being empowered.
(11:02): It’s almost like we’ve fallen into this misbelief that, unless we’re wielding that power, sword in hand, slaying and dominating the people around us, if we’re not that then we’re weak and submissive.
We don’t want to revert back to the fifties apron-clad woman. We’re not going to be told what to do.
But there’s a great difference between being submissive and wielding power.
There is a third option available here to us. That is embodying our true power.
Elaborating on Being Empowered: Make the Change.
(13:37): Your book provides lots of great tips and exercises for the readers. I’m wondering if you could share one of the many tips with our listeners who find that some of what you said resonates. We can think of circumstances where we fell into this forceful alpha behavior. What is one tip you can share with listeners who find themselves behaving like the forceful alpha to bring them back into their true power?
(14:14): If we come to our partners with sensitivity and tact, rather than coming at them with attacks and demands, we might be surprised at how easily we evoke the love and respect that we desire.
Controlling Behavior in Relationships
(14:35): The “forceful alpha” was the first one. The second of the four common alpha behaviors you mention is the “controlling alpha.”
In the context of relationships, will you explain to our readers what that might be?
(14:50): I think this is the one area that most women can recognize themselves in.
How many of us have been micromanaging? We have this attitude that, if we’re not overseeing all things and all people, it just won’t get done.
It’s sort of a disease that a lot of women have these days. Therefore, they feel drained, overwhelmed and exhausted at the end of the day. They’re running all things at all times.
Elaborating on Controlling Behavior in Relationships.
Competitive Behavior is Unhealthy
(17:05): Even when that’s not the case, no one dies. Everything is okay even if it’s different.
The book discusses at length four different common alpha behaviors. The third one that you mention is a “competitive alpha.” In the context of relationships, how do you see that playing out?
(17:34): This is another little syndrome that a lot of women have been raised with. It’s the “fairest one of all” thinking.
Unless we’re the best, we’re not okay. Then we feel this sense of inadequacy within ourselves.
Competitive Behavior: In A Relationship
Elaborating on Competitive Behavior is Unhealthy.
Drama Queen Behavior
(21:09): It’s simple but really impactful.
The fourth common alpha behavior is the “disruptive alpha.” In the context of romantic relationships, how do you see the disruptive alpha playing out?
(21:28): When you think of the disruptive alpha, think of the drama queen. Let’s face it, we all have a little bit of a drama queen in us.
In relationships, I think that so many of us make it all about ourselves. I find myself doing this.
Elaborating on Drama Queen Behavior.
Overcoming Limitation: 3 Steps
(23:40): Taming Your Alpha Bitch: How to Be Fierce and Feminine (and Get Everything You Want!): Your book discusses at greater length how each of these four alpha bitch behaviors are different in how they are manifested but are triggered by the core beliefs of lack and insufficiency.
You also mention three steps for releasing lack and limitation. Would you share those with our listeners?
(24:20): 3 Steps to Overcoming Limitation:
- Identify the belief
- Question the veracity of its truth
- Start to think a new thought over and over again
Elaborating on Overcoming Limitation: 3 Steps.
(27:43): That’s very empowering. I really appreciate you sharing your insights with us, Rebecca. They’ve been very interesting and helpful. Is there any last thought or take-home message that you’d like to leave our readers with?
(27:58): My message is to have women simply begin to question their more aggressive ways and consider if there are more empowering options out there.
What they will find is that there is a way that we can be in the world that gets us everything we want. It’s not about denying or relinquishing our desires. There is a way, a path, that gets us everything that we want in life and more without the effort.
It’s maximum benefits through minimal effort.
That way is to really align with our more feminine nature. Just consider that. As you begin to practice some of the principles that we have in Taming Your Alpha Bitch, you’ll be surprised at how easy and fulfilling life becomes without having to give up any of your dreams and desires.
(29:04): That’s wonderful. Rebecca, do you have a website that you’d like to share with our listeners?
(29:11): Yes. They can go to RebeccaGrado.com. If your listeners purchase the book on my website and send me a quick email at email@example.com, I’ll also send them another copy of a book that I have contributed a chapter to with Dr. Wayne Dyer and Michael Bernard Beckwith. It’s called Living in Abundance. If anyone wants a copy of Taming Your Alpha Bitch, if you go through my website, I’ll also send you another book, too.
(29:49): That’s great. Thank you. I’d like to thank Rebecca for joining us today. It’s been a pleasure. In case you joined us late or would like to share this show with people in your life, I’d like to remind you that today’s radio show will be archived and available as a podcast on Intersections Match’s website, which is www.IntersectionsMatch.com. I can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I appreciate you hanging out with us. Do email me with topics you’d like discussed in future shows. Make sure to join us for next month’s show. Take care, everyone.
What do you think?
Would you like to add to the insights shared by Rebecca Grado? Share your thoughts in the comments below.