Masculinity and Being Nice: Perfect Combo

Jasbina Ahluwalia

For both men and women, it comes down to having an empowering mindset or attitude. You want to be able to identify the problem solver as someone who is going to figure it out versus the complainer who is powerless. They are either pointing a finger at others or overgeneralizing. It starts with the mindset and attitude.

In your book for men, you mention what you term the magic formula. This is the formula. Success with women equals masculinity plus respecting women. Tell us about that formula.



Dr. Christie Hartman

I’m a big fan of formulas of any kind with graphs, charts and maps. It always makes me happy. I tried to come up with something simple that everyone could relate to. Success with women equals masculinity plus respecting women. You’re trying to cover all the bases with that formula. Women are attracted to masculinity. Masculinity is very basic. All men are masculine. You have to be comfortable in your manhood.

  • You don’t want to feel embarrassed about your manhood.
  • There are men who are way too nice. Sometimes they’re embarrassed to be masculine.
  • They’re embarrassed to be men that admit they love sports, listen to Rush Limbaugh or do manly things.


I think it’s okay for men to be that way. At the same time, it’s also important to be woman friendly.

You don’t have to be too masculine. You can like women. You can be friends with women. You can try to understand women. The mixture of those two are the things that help men succeed with women. The masculinity attracts women to men. Liking women helps them to succeed with women over the long haul.


Tell Us:

Masculinity and being nice are crucial for short and long terms. How does a lack of one or the other affect relationships? Tell us about your experiences in the comments section below.


The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Christie Hartman.

The entire interview transcript is at: Christie Hartman Interview – A Man’s Guide to Success with Women

Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show

Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: A Man’s Guide To Success With Women – Christie Hartman

Listen to the entire interview on iTunes