Ideal Partner Qualities: Top 3

Jasbina asks Neely Steinberg – Author of the book ‘Skin in the Game: Unleashing Your Inner Entrepreneur to Find Love’: In your book, you mention what you call an affinity list. Interestingly, you detail 3 non-negotiable qualities, which you site as fundamentally important in a partner for long-term love. Tell us about that.


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Neely Steinberg

As a coach, I rarely make mandates. I’m more in favor of guiding people to come to the answers that work for them in their lives as opposed to saying, “I know what’s best for you. Do this. Do that.” I rarely make mandates.

When you’re creating a list of the things that you’re looking for in a partner, I call it your affinity list.  

There are 3 things that I have mandated in the book that should be on this list.

3 Ideal Partner Qualities:

  1. Kindness
  2. Trustworthiness
  3. Dependability

I think, a lot of times, when women create their lists, they list off a lot of characteristics. I think it’s essentially important to start thinking about the character of the person you want to be with.


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Those 3 things, kindness, trustworthiness and reliability, are the cornerstones of successful relationships.

You’re out there in the dating world and dating different people. Start asking yourself:

  • Is this man kind to me?
  • Is he kind in the way he listens or in the way that I need him to be kind to me?
  • Is he trustworthy?
  • Can I really trust this guy?

Obviously, you won’t know this after a week of dating someone. You have to continue to date them for a couple of months.

Think to yourself:

  • Is he reliable?
  • Can I depend on this person?
  • Do his actions speak louder than his words?

It’s not just displaying these 3 qualities when getting to knowing someone, but is he or she consistently displaying those qualities over a period of time?

Those are 3 things that I think should be on every woman’s list. The rest are up to her.

Those are the 3 ideal partner qualities.


What About You?

Are these three the ideal partner qualities you look for? What would you list as your top 3 ideal partner qualities?


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The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Neely Steinberg 

The entire interview transcript is at: Neely Steinberg Interview – Unleashing Your Inner Entrepreneur to Find Love

Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show

Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Unleashing Your Inner Entrepreneur to Find Love – Neely Steinberg

Listen to the entire interview on iTunes