Flirting Secret – Silence!

Jasbina asks Dr. Diana Kirschner – In your book Find Your Soulmate Online in Six Simple Steps you provide tips for a first date.


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You said something that I think our listeners will find compelling. You say, “Silence is where flirting happens at a deeper level.” Tell us about that.

I know that a lot of people, especially on a first date, feel the pressure if there’s a silence to fill in that gap to avoid an awkward silence. Tell me what you mean by, “Silence is where flirting happens on a deeper level.”


Dr. Diana Kirschner

Your charm and charisma is not a matter of words. Even your shyness is very magnetic, especially from a woman to a man.

Your shyness can be very magnetic. If you take a little glance at the eyes of the person in that quiet, that’s a very powerful kind of flirting. Maybe you give just a little smile.

The most intimate moments don’t involve words.

  • They involve making eye contact.
  • They involve sending energy through your mouth, smiling or sometimes a touch.
  • It can be a simple touch. Knowing that, you don’t have to be afraid if you’re shy.

It’s charming. Once you accept that and give a shy glance or smile, the guy can fall for you right in that moment, hook, line and sinker.

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Words sometimes come between people. They make things less intimate, especially if you’re just chattering away on autopilot in a social way. Just looking up for a brief minute is very sweet. It can be amazing.

If you think about great romance novels or movies, when the magic lovers come together:

  • There is a quietness.
  • They are looking into each other’s eyes.
  • There might be a touch on the wrist. It’s subtle.

That is where you see them connecting. Embrace your shyness because that’s where the sweet moments can occur.

You can even say, “I feel shy.” That’s endearing. That’s darling.


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What do you think?

What do you think about the ‘Flirting Secret – Silence?’ Especially on a first date – what about the pressure if there’s a silence to fill in that gap to avoid an awkward silence? Share your thoughts in the comments below.


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The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Dr. Diana Kirschner.

The entire interview transcript is at: Diana Kirschner Interview: Online Dating Strategies

Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show

Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk RadioFind Your Soulmate Online – In Six Simple Steps: Diana Kirschner

Listen to the entire interview on iTunes