Childhood Effects Love

Jasbina Ahluwalia asks David Wygant – Author of the book Naked: You’re making the realization so that you can allow it to pass over you. You’re not terribly concerned with not getting a response to a particular email.

While I enjoyed reading your entire book, my favorite chapter was the one entitled Live Your Rule Book.

I want to quote from the book. “Are you, right now, living a life completely by your own rules? I’m not talking about your parent’s rules, your boss’s rules or your partner’s rules. Living your life by other people’s rules, no matter how well-intentioned they may be, means that you’re living their lives, dreams, frustrations and visions for you.”

Can you share with our listeners why you think living your rule book is so crucially important?


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David Wygant

It’s because they only have one shot at this thing called life.

We have to understand what our programming is. In Naked, I go deeper into that.

Childhood Effects Love: Born as Clean Slate

What is our programming? We are all born with programming. We’re actually born with blank programming. Then our parents take out all of their life frustrations on kids.

I see it all the time. I see it with my ex and my daughter. There is a co-dependent relationship forming there due to my ex’s life as a child.

You see this. When I child comes into this world, they are a clean slate. Your life frustrations have nothing to do with it.

Childhood Effects Love: Wygant’s Story

I’ll share a personal story with you. My mom was all about soul mates because she never had hers. My dad was not exactly what she wanted.

My dad was not the man that she wanted to be with. My dad was not her love.

Every single time I had a relationship that ended, even if I was five years old, my mom would say, “It’s not your soul mate.” I heard “soul mate, soul mate, soul mate.”

When I finally wrote the book Naked, I realized that I wasn’t with my soul mate. I wasn’t with a woman I loved.

Plain and simple, I was living my mother’s programming. My trigger points were “soul mate.”

I wasn’t living my own life romantically.


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Childhood Effects Love: Overcoming It

I was meeting so many people but I was always triggered by something that wasn’t necessarily me. That’s what really digging into that is all about.

It’s really understanding what your life is. Now, I’m living my life. I’m enjoying people. I am not giving in to things that don’t make sense to me.

We all do that. If you look at your relationship patterns in life, they were all triggered by the same type of person over and over again.

It has to do with your own programming.

Until you understand your programming, you’ll continue to be triggered.


Tell Us:

Childhood effects love in a negative context here, what have been some of your experiences?  Childhood effects love in positive ways too, any stories to tell? Share with us in the comments below.


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The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with David Wygant.

The entire interview transcript is at: David Wygant “Insights from a Dating Expert”

Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show

Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Insights From a Dating Expert: David Wygant

Listen to the entire interview on iTunes