Acceptable Compromise in Relationships
Jasbina Ahluwalia discusses compromise in relationships with Dr. Jan Yager – Author of the book 125 Ways to Meet the Love of Your Life.
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Dr. Jan Yager
I have a joke when people ask me how I managed to have a marriage that’s so wonderful.
We’re celebrating our 25th anniversary this month.
Dr. Jan Yager
I say facetiously and in a joking way, “For me, it was important not to marry someone who was neater than me.”
Acceptable Compromise as Gifts
For my birthday this week, one of the gifts that my husband gave me was that he did the dishes. I asked him if he could do the dishes as one of my birthday presents.
Our dishwasher broke so we’re doing the dishes by hand rather than getting another dishwasher.
It’s as quirky as that. It can be as dramatic as, do you both want children?
That’s a value that you have to establish going into the relationship. That can be a real deal-breaker.
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I consider it a fundamental area of compatibility.
There is very little compromise on that kind of a question.
Acceptable Compromise in Doses
Compromise is obviously very important in relationships but there are certain issues where there is little room for a compromise.
Dr. Jan Yager
Over the years, I’ve known couples where that was something that they shared a commitment to avoiding.
Who is the breadwinner?
I’ve known couples who were very happily married because they wanted the wife to be the breadwinner and the husband to not have to deal with that and not have children.
There’s Acceptable Compromise, Then There’s Compatability
Defining your own roles is important.
In terms of compatibility, I think it’s important to be comfortable as a couple to let yourself define roles instead of taking on societal roles in terms of whether you’re supposed to have children.
Share with us in the comments below when you have wintneesed or experienced acceptable compromise.
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The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Dr. Jan Yager.
The entire interview transcript is at: Dr. Jan Yager Interview – 125 Ways to Meet the Love of Your Life
Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show
Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: 125 Wats to Meet the Love of Your Life – Dr. Jan Yager
Listen to the entire interview on iTunes