Attracting The Right Partner: 2 Tips
Kristina Lynn asks Jasbina Ahluwalia: One of the things that I see are lots of power struggles and confusion. I am thrilled that you would like to delve into this topic.
We have people who are on the edge of their seat saying, “Tell me your insights, please.”
Attracting The Right Partner: Empowerment
Empowerment is a mindset that I really internalize.
Part of that is knowing what you want in terms of lifestyle design.
I did that when I decided that I wanted to parlay my skills into something that gave me more time flexibility. That was my decision.
Attracting The Right Partner: Know Your Essentials
Someone else’s decision might be very different. Go back to your essentials.
- What is my long-term picture?
- Where are my values in terms of my compass?
- Where are my values pointing me towards in terms of what is essential for me?
That is something that’s very important for a woman to start thinking about before they choose a partner.
If you know what’s important to you, communicating with your partner is very important.
There is no one right choice for all of us to make.
The choices that we make are very related to the partners that we choose. You want to choose a partner who will be aligned with that.
Through life stages, there can be a back and forth.
It’s not that one person has one role throughout their whole marriage.
There are a lot of circumstances and opportunities where that baton is switched between partners.
I think it’s important to also have a viewpoint of how smooth things can be.
Attracting The Right Partner: Be Expressive
Also be expressive in terms of what’s important to you.
I want to read some things that one of my clients said.
She said, “I’ve always had luck in finding great dates but not in finding the elusive one, the right fit. Through Jasbina’s guidance, I’ve learned to embrace all aspects of myself and start building a deeper connection with someone.
While still early on in the process, I’m already seeing a dramatic difference in my approach and thought process with great results.
Jasbina’s questions are very thought provoking, introspective and insightful. She’s very diligent in every aspect. I’m so happy to start on this journey to finding a life partner with her.”
Attracting The Right Partner: Evolution
I want to fast forward to her second update.
She says, “This is not directly relationship oriented but I wanted to share a professional win with you.
I thought of sharing this win with you because I don’t think I would have had the guts or conviction if it hadn’t been for the wonderful and supportive relationship that I’m in.
I know I didn’t need him in my life but it has really brought out the best in me and continues to do so.”
The last update is a picture of a cake that says, “Marry me.” They got engaged.
Attracting The Right Partner: Supportive
I want to hone in on two things here.
One is this idea of picking the right partner to support you in your aspirations.
If you have professional aspirations, there is a certain kind of guy who would support you with that.
That’s the kind of guy that you want to attract. You don’t downplay that at all.
We want that to come up. As time and interaction reveals itself, it’s something that we want to express.
It’s a part of us that we want to let shine. The right guy will be good with that.
If someone is not, he’s not the right fit.
Attracting The Right Partner: Embrace Whole Self
Then there is the idea of embracing your whole self.
I know you’ve had great matchmakers on your show. Sometimes people think that matchmaking is all about just putting two people together and making an introduction.
I believe that the whole matchmaking process is far more involved than just putting two people together.
There is a lot of coaching and helping someone to navigate things.
Many of the listeners don’t have a hard time finding someone, but it’s about, once you find someone, taking it to the level that you mutually want to take it to.
That can be challenging. So many different things can come up.
Attracting The Right Partner: Feedback
One of the things that we do is something called 360 degree feedback.
We initially do a very lengthy consultation. During that time, with this particular client, I noticed that she had some conflicting thoughts when it came to religion.
On one hand, she thought that the religion she was raised in was important to share with her partner. That was very important to her.
There is nothing wrong with having that as your criteria.
You narrow your pool with respect to other things when you do that.
There was another part of her that seemed a little conflicted. She realized that her lifestyle and mindset was different than others with the same religion.
That can become a conundrum. You’re narrowing the pool. Then you’re further narrowing it due to thought processes.
I knew that I had to ask her about this and take it a bit deeper and wider.
She put me in touch with a couple of her close friends and exes. I spoke with them directly. I saw different perspectives on how she has presented herself.
From there, I put it together and determined that exploring the possibility of her being in a relationship with someone of a different religion would be worthwhile. It’s a dynamic process.
Ultimately, the partner that she’s with meets her essentials, but he is of a different religion.
Attracting The Right Partner: Deeper Look
It turned out that sharing her religion wasn’t really one of her essentials. That doesn’t mean may not be the case for someone else.
Hopefully, that gives listeners an idea of how matchmaking is so much more than merely making an initial introduction between two people.
It’s also about helping someone navigate their way and figure out who might be a good introduction based on the work we do at the outset.
There is the idea that it’s not unrealistic to find a partner who will support you in your professional success, if that is important to you.
Embracing yourself is a huge part in attracting the right partner. Own who you are.
If there is anything you want to change, change that. Own who you are and that will be magnetic to the right partner.
I wanted to share that story to bring those points out for everyone.
Do you have any additional tips for attracting the right partner? Drop those tips down in the comments section.
The above is an excerpt from Kristina Lynn’s interview with Jasbina Ahluwalia.
The entire interview transcript is at: