Tools to Happiness Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Heather Hans, author of The Heart of Self-Love: Action comes before motivation. That applies to confidence, too. You need to make a commitment to that. Doing something and seeing your ability to do it and get to the other side of it comes before having that confidence. What would you tell someone who really wants to be their best, but struggles? They struggle with depression or anxiety. What would you tell that person?