Providing for Parents Effects Marriage

Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Bhuvaneshwari Bhagat: That’s interesting. In those couples that call you 5 to 15 years into their marriage, what are their issues?



Bhuvaneshwari Bhagat

Providing for Parents Effects Marriage: Asking Why

The biggest issue is that they all have parents living in India or in a South continent.

The fact that there is a level of giving back causes a huge issue in the relationship for people who live here.

The partners who are from here question, “Why is it that we have to give back so much for people in India?”

Providing for Parents Effects Marriage: The Situation

There are a lot of people who feel very uneasy with the fact that they’ve chosen to live here and they have parents who are aging in India.

They have siblings who are all doing very well but it’s an immigrant’s void that draws them into thinking that they need to play this role. The only role is either resources or a chunk of time that you can give once in a while, which would mean most of your vacation time, typically, for couples.

Then there are issues revolving around that. “All of our time goes to going back to only one country.”

Providing for Parents Effects Marriage: Emotional Tie

When we speak about it, it seems shallow and superficial but there are more in-depth layers of emotion and issues that are built into these issues.

One of the biggest ones that I’ve seen is the amount of resources that goes back to India from here.

People have a difference of opinion like, “Why should we send so many dollars?” That brings a huge discomfort and disconnect into the relationship.


Tell Us:

Providing for parents effects marriage, have any of you experienced this? Share your stories with us in the comments section below.


The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Bhuvaneshwari Bhagat.

The entire interview transcript is at: Bhuvaneshwari Bhagat Interview – Marriage & Family Counselor

Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show

Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Insights from an Indian Marriage & Family Counselor

Listen to the entire interview on iTunes