Initiate a Date: How To
Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Brian Howie, author of How to Find Love in 60 Seconds: Based on your learnings over these 49 shows and the 1500 interviews that you did in the course of writing your book, what are your top two or three tips to women?
I know you’ve mentioned quite a few throughout this, but if you could just encapsulate the top two or three tips you would tell to women listeners, given everything that you’ve mentioned in terms of the challenges and the environment.
Initiate a Date: Let The Men Ask You Out
I don’t believe that a woman should ask a man out.
That’s me. I’m probably wrong. Most people disagree with me but that’s my personal philosophy.
What you should do is let a man know that he can ask you out.
Initiate a Date: How to Make Him Ask You Out
A lot of women are very frustrated that, especially in Match.com, you know the men who want to go back and forth emailing. The women get frustrated at that.
I say that after two or three interactions, simply say, “I will tell you when I see you.” That lets him know, “I want to see you. Please ask me out.”
That is not you asking him out. That’s just letting him know, “Okay, it’s time for you to ask me out and I’m going to say yes.” A lot of women don’t do that.
Initiate a Date: How to Invite a Second Date
Also, after a first date, just because you laughed, touched his arm and said, “I had a really nice time. Thank you,” don’t assume that’s enough for him to ask you out again.
He needs to hear the words, “I would like to do it again,” or “I can’t wait to do it again.”
If you have manners and you had a bad time, you should still say thank you. He needs to literally hear the words, “I would like to see you.”
The first couple of dates,
- The man is complimenting the woman.
- The man is asking the woman out.
The man is doing all of that. All he needs is a little bit of feedback that he’s doing the right thing that he can make you happy and there’s a roadmap here that he can succeed.
Initiate a Date: How to Help Him
I always make the joke that all a guy knows is what made the last girl happy, and he probably found that out too late.
Let him know what he needs to do to make you happy. He’s not a mind reader. He can’t figure it out from your body language.
Be specific, but be playful and most importantly, be encouraging. Say it to him in a positive, reinforcing fashion and a man will do anything you want.
Will you be using these tips to initiate a date with your love interest? Tell us how it goes in the comments section below.
The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Brian Howie
The entire interview transcript is at: Brian Howie Interview – How to Find Love in 60 Seconds
Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show
Listen to the entire interview on iTunes