Forceful Alpha Bitch: The Behavior
Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Rebecca Grado, co-author of Taming Your Alpha Bitch: How to Be Fierce and Feminine (and Get Everything You Want!): I love the idea of co-creation and the empowering thought behind that.
Your book discusses four common alpha bitch behaviors and how each of these behaviors is actually triggered by the core beliefs of lack and insufficiency, which in turn, send us spiraling into panic and fear.
I’m wondering if you will explain to our listeners the first of the four common alpha behaviors, which you term the “forceful alpha,” in the context of relationships.
Forceful Alpha Bitch: Sabotage
The first of the four behaviors that absolutely sabotage all the things that we want to create is being very forceful or overbearing.
Again, that’s the part of us that has lost track of the realization that it’s our own inner power. When we tap into that, it creates all things.
When we forget that, we think we have to go out into the world. We go through the world kicking down doors.
The only way that we can get through is through brute force. That’s so not the truth.
We actually have the keys that can unlock the doors and we can gracefully walk right through.
Forceful Alpha Bitch
You can just begin to imagine the impact that has in relationships. No man, no person, wants to be treated like a child or to be overpowered or dominated.
Men happen to like their masculinity. They don’t want to feel emasculated by women.
Forceful Alpha Bitch: Attitude
Yet, so many of us feel like we need to have this take-charge attitude both at work and at home. When we do that, we’re literally sabotaging our relationships.
Men may do what we want but they’re going to build an inner resentment. They’re going to feel bitter towards us. They’re going to pull away from us.
The more they pull away, the more we feel like we have to pursue them and dominate them.
Then we have this vicious cycle going.
Forceful Alpha Bitch: Become Empowered
This isn’t about being weak or submissive. That isn’t the message of the book. It’s all about empowerment.
Women really need to know that, when you come at people, you’re not going to get the things you want. When you can come to someone with respect and kindness, they will respond every time.
Forceful Alpha Bitch: Fail to Listen
I’ve been a therapist for over 25 years working with couples. I see women who fail to listen.
They’re speaking at they’re partner. You see the partner tuning them out more and more. When they can be coached into how to slow down, breathe, listen and be responsive, it’s almost like their partner is a turtle starting to come out of their shell.
What I see with so many women is they want the attention. They want the affection of their partners but they’re beating on that turtle’s shell saying, “Come out! Come out!” That’s the last thing you’re going to get from him when you do that.
Do you recognize forceful alpha bitch behavior in your demeanor? What are you guilty of? Tell us in the comments section below.
The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Rebecca Grado
The entire interview transcript is at: Rebecca Grado Interview – How to be Fierce and Feminine and Get Everything You Want!
Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show
Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Taming Your Alpha Bitch – How To Be Fierce and Feminine
Listen to the entire interview on iTunes