Dating: How To Improve Yourself

Jasbina asks Neely Steinberg – Author of the book ‘Skin in the Game: Unleashing Your Inner Entrepreneur to Find Love’: Tell us about iterative and incremental dating and how they can both work together to be well-serving approaches.


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Neely Steinberg

As you know, entrepreneurs iterate in their ventures. They iterate in their businesses.

They take certain actions. They make certain choices and decisions. They go in certain directions.

Some things work and some things don’t.

Then they go in certain directions based on what works and what doesn’t. These are called iterations. You iterate your business as you go.

Iterative Dating

Bringing that back to the dating world, I talk about iterative dating.

This is really about learning as you go. It starts with taking action in the dating world.

That means going on more dates, increasing interactions with men, getting out there and then learning from all of these actions that you’re taking.

Then you act again in smarter, more empowered ways.


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You can consider these types of things iterations of your dating and love venture. You’re iterating on the process of how you date. Did you want me to talk about incremental dating?

Jasbina Ahluwalia

Sure. I think these are both important in terms of having your own compass and navigating.

Neely Steinberg

Iterative dating will be different for everyone. We’re all unique. We all have different experiences and backgrounds. We have different experiences in the dating world.

How one woman iterates and the process of how she dates is going to look different from another woman and how she iterates in her dating life.

I walk the reader through examples of iterative dating and action for a number of different women in the book. We don’t have time to go through that.

The other part of this is what I like to call incremental dating.

Entrepreneurs iterate the process of how they deliver their services or products. They also make incremental adjustments.

They are incrementally improving their product or service.

Incremental Dating

Bringing that back to your dating and love life, while iterative dating is really about the process of how you date, incremental dating is about improving you, the product.

I want to make this clear. This is not about changing who you are. Ultimately, you want a man to fall in love with you for who you are. This is not about changing who you are at your core.


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This is about making incremental adjustments in certain ways. Maybe you need practice with certain dating skills or interpersonal skills.

I list 50 different things that you can practice while out there in the dating world. You can incrementally work on this stuff and practice different things.

Some of them are:

  • Conversation and small talk skills
  • Opening up and sharing stories
  • Getting others to open up to you
  • Active listening skills
  • Eye contact
  • Giving and receiving compliments
  • Articulating your goals and dreams in life
  • Patience
  • Friendliness
  • Warmth
  • Generosity

I list off other things that you can work on.

It’s not about changing who you are, but working on certain dating and interpersonal skills that can help you make better connections with men and women out there in the dating world.


Your Turn:

While dating, what you will you be working on to incrementally improve yourself?


The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Neely Steinberg.

The entire interview transcript is at: Neely Steinberg Interview – Unleashing Your Inner Entrepreneur to Find Love

Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show

Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Unleashing Your Inner Entrepreneur to Find Love – Neely Steinberg

Listen to the entire interview on iTunes