Dating the Busy Bee
Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Rachel Greenwald, author of, Have Him at Hello: Confessions from 1,000 Guys about What Makes Them Fall in Love or Never Call Back: They want to be acknowledged and appreciated. That’s a great start for any relationship.
Throughout the relationship, feeling appreciation is one of the most important things. If, at the outset, you’re showing yourself as someone who can acknowledge and appreciate, I can see that going very far.
Let’s jump to number three of five reasons that he didn’t call back despite a great first date. I love this one.
Our listeners tend to be highly educated people with tons of things going on in their life. I love this third reason. You characterize it as the “busy bee.” Tell us about that.
Dating the Busy Bee: Good First Date
Dating the Busy Bee: Everyone is Busy
I can certainly relate to this. I am one of the busiest people out there myself. I know that all of your listeners are and you are as well. We all are.
Everyone these days says, “Hey, how are you?” The number one answer to that question is, “Busy.”
Your best friend, your parents and your co-workers are so busy. Everyone is so busy. “Busy” is the new “fine.” When people used to say, “How are you?” you would say, “Fine.” Now they say, “How are you?” and you say, “Busy.”
Yes, we are all busy bees. When a guy is trying to see you again and the date has gone well, it’s important that you fit him into your busy schedule and not make him feel like he’s not a priority.
There are a couple of tactical ways that you can do this. Let’s say that you genuinely have the next seven nights booked with something else going on and he says, “I’d like to take you out again. Are you free on Friday?”
Dating the Busy Bee: Delicate Balance
If something really important is going on Friday, look at the surrounding days and figure out something that you can cancel.
He will get frustrated and move on to someone who does make him a priority if you don’t. In the beginning stages of getting to know you, where the first couple of dates are happening, he doesn’t really know how great you are and how worth it you are to wait for.
Dating the Busy Bee: Don’t Make Excuses
You can’t have too many excuses about a million things:
- Your college friend is coming into town one night.
- It’s girl’s poker night the next night.
- You have to go visit your grandma in the nursing home the next night.
Dating the Busy Bee: Not About Empowerment
There are all of these crazy things. Cancel something for him. Don’t feel like you are compromising your standards or your female empowerment to make a change in your schedule to go out with a guy you really like.
Also, don’t tell him about all of the other crazy, busy things that you’re doing. If he says, “Can you go out Friday night?” don’t respond by saying, “No, I can’t go out Friday night. I have to work late. Then I’m preparing for a presentation on Monday. I can’t go out Friday. Saturday is out too because I have my bowling league. Sunday is out because I will be out of town for two days.”
Don’t tell him all of that stuff. When he says, “Are you free on Friday?” simply say, “I’m so sorry. Friday doesn’t work. How about Tuesday?” That’s it.
That portrays you as someone who leads a life of her own but is not so busy that he doesn’t feel like a priority.
The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Rachel Greenwald
The entire interview transcript is at: Rachel Greenwald Interview: Have Him At Hello!
Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show
Listen to the entire interview on iTunes