Why Date Multiple Men At Once

Jasbina asks Dr. Diana Kirschner – In your book Find Your Soulmate Online in Six Simple Steps, you suggest commitment-minded women casually date 3 men at the same time – Tell us about that.


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Dr. Diana Kirschner

That is important. That guards you. First, it makes you feel terrific. Most women say, “I can’t even get one good guy to date.”

In Find Your Soulmate, I tell you how to get many good guys to date.

  • It makes you feel terrific because three guys are interested in you.
  • It stops you from really getting overly attached to one.
  • You’re not waiting for his text or call. He didn’t make arrangements this weekend.

What does that mean? You don’t obsess over one because you have three.

This is casual, meaning no sex. A little kissing and canoodling is okay. It’s also out front.

On the second date, you tell them in a very special way.

  1. You tell them that you’re doing causal dating with more than one person. First, you validate them like crazy if you like them.
  2. You can say, “I haven’t laughed with anyone like I’m laughing with you. I can’t believe what an amazing time we’re having. I can’t imagine having as much fun with anyone. You are hysterical.
  3. I want to let you know that I made a commitment to myself. I am taking things slow and doing casual dating with a few people for a while. As I said, I can’t imagine having this much fun with anyone else.”

That’s like a sandwich of unbelievable validation and a takeaway. I’m saying, “I have a boundary. I’m going to be a little hard to win.” Then you will give the nourishing statement again of, “You’re so fun.” What do you think that does to a winner guy?


Jasbina Ahluwalia

I think it encourages him and lets him know that it’s not all in the bag. He also needs to step up and show who he is.


Dr. Diana Kirschner

Exactly. Winner guys don’t want things that just fall in their hands. They want to work a little bit for it. Sometimes they want to work a lot for it. They don’t want a bitch.


Jasbina Ahluwalia

It relieves pressure, too. It comes together with lowering expectations. It releases pressure on everyone.


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Dr. Diana Kirschner

Yes, it’s not like this is the one guy I have to marry. Sometimes women can get into a crazy pressured situation, especially if there is pressure from the family to get married.

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I’ve seen that so many times. It’s enough to drive you crazy.

  • There is the pressure of picking someone they would like
  • The right person or
  • The one they want to choose for you.

It’s so difficult. The women of today have a hard time sometimes, especially with family pressure.


What do you think?

Do you think it is ok for commitment-minded women to casually date multiple men at the same time? Share your thoughts in the comments below.


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The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Dr. Diana Kirschner.

The entire interview transcript is at: Diana Kirschner Interview: Online Dating Strategies

Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show

Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk RadioFind Your Soulmate Online – In Six Simple Steps: Diana Kirschner

Listen to the entire interview on iTunes