Capitalize on Dating Momentum
Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Rachel Greenwald, author of, Have Him at Hello: Confessions from 1,000 Guys about What Makes Them Fall in Love or Never Call Back: I love that insight.
You mentioned empowerment. In terms of a mindset shift, true empowerment is having your priorities and being able to align your actions with your priorities.
You mentioned the online dating phenomenon. There are a lot of choices out there. If someone is not available, there very well could be many others who are.
If it’s too hard to get together with someone, men and women alike can move on to the next person.
Capitalize on Dating Momentum: First Date
There is a momentum, too. You might have had a great first date.
There is an excitement that follows it. If it takes a week, two weeks or three weeks to see someone for the second time, the momentum has fizzled.
Capitalize on Dating Momentum: Consistency
There is something really important about making your actions consistent with your words.
If your priority is finding someone special and finding love then you have to put other things below that priority.
That means not working as late so that you have more free time and not following through with all of your other commitments right away.
You’ve clearly filled your life with other things like book clubs, friends, vacations and busy jobs because you didn’t have love in your life. Something does have to fall away.
Capitalize on Dating Momentum: Represent Yourself
Men use that as a symbol of what it would be like to raise a family with you.
If they see that you have all of these other priorities besides your relationship then they start to wonder, “What’s going to happen when she has kids? I really want someone who will put our family first. She just doesn’t seem like the kind of person who will do that.”
There are a couple of other comments that I want to share about what men are looking for that makes them call a woman back.
It is so important that you don’t just avoid the mistakes that we’re talking about but that you are proactive in showing him all of the reasons why he should call you back.
Capitalize on Dating Momentum: Be Miss Easy Breezy
One of the ones that I thought was interesting is what I call the “Miss Easy Breezy.”
In the book, Have Him at Hello, I have the top five reasons why men do call back.
Miss Easy Breezy was a fascinating one for me personally because I am usually not easy-going.
Capitalize on Dating Momentum: Go With the Flow
There is a vibe that a woman gives off on a date that she is easy-going and that she can go with the flow. It translated in little ways.
Capitalize on Dating Momentum: Example
For example, if she ordered the salad with the dressing on the side and the waiter brought the salad with the dressing on the plate, she just went with it.
Instead of sending it back or making a fuss, she just shrugged her shoulders, said, “What are you going to do?” and ate the salad with the dressing on it.
Little things like that go a long way. It’s someone who doesn’t make a big deal out of little bumps in the road on the date.
That becomes a metaphor where the man thinks, “She’s the kind of girl who, when the going gets tough in life, is the partner I want. She’s not going to fly into a rage. She’s not going to struggle to adapt to new situations or conditions.”
Remember, they’re projecting. Everything that you do and say is a metaphor for what you would be like as their future wife and mother of their children.
It’s important to look for opportunities on your date to prove that you’re easy-going. If he teases you about something, tease him back. You don’t have to become upset about it.
Capitalize on Dating Momentum: Be Honest and Real
For example, a girl who likes to camp is a great symbol of someone who is able to handle the rough patches in life.
Talk about things like camping or other ways that you’re not an uptight or spoiled person. That will really go a long way to assure a man that you will be a good partner in life.
Don’t make anything up. Don’t say that you love camping if you don’t. Find other things like camping that show you as easy-going. Talk about those proactively on your date.
Have you ever missed the time to capitalize on dating momentum and lost “the one”? Tell us your stories in the comments section below.
The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Rachel Greenwald
The entire interview transcript is at: Rachel Greenwald Interview: Have Him At Hello!
Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show
Listen to the entire interview on iTunes