Avoid Being the Uninteresting Date
Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Rachel Greenwald, author of , Have Him at Hello: Confessions from 1,000 Guys about What Makes Them Fall in Love or Never Call Back: The statistics and demographics of this country are changing so rapidly. There are a greater number of women college graduates than men in this country at this point.
The number of women going into professional fields and getting advanced degrees is something for people to keep in mind.
Avoid Being the Uninteresting Date: The Blahs
The number two reason that you found in your research as to why he didn’t call back, you characterize as “the blahs.”
Avoid Being the Uninteresting Date: Interesting Conversation
“The blahs” is a very interesting category that I found.
It’s a reason that the date was boring. It wasn’t that the woman was boring.
The man perceived that the exchange of demographic information on the date turned out to be a boring evening.
Avoid Being the Uninteresting Date: Online Dating Effect
It’s very interesting to think about how online dating has really changed the nature of dates.
You have to remember when you go on a date that he’s probably been out with three or four other women that week if he is serious about finding someone. There are so many more dates that people are just tired of the same old information exchange.
If you go on a date and start asking boring questions like, “What do you do? Where did you grow up? How many siblings do you have?” then that guy will be so bored.
Avoid Being the Uninteresting Date: Constant Dating
First, he’s been on several other dates that week where the women have asked all the same questions. He feels like he is sick and tired of dating.
One of the things that the guys said in this category was that many women are perfectly nice. There is nothing overtly wrong with them but there is nothing to tip the scale.
Many times, I would talk to these guys and say, “Why didn’t you call her back? What was wrong?” They would say, “Absolutely nothing was wrong, truly. She was attractive. She was smart. She was nice.
Avoid Being the Uninteresting Date: What’s Missing
The real question is, ‘What was missing that didn’t push me over the fence to call her back?’ It was a date that was fine but nothing special.”
In this day and age, your date has to be really special for a guy to be immediately drawn to you because he has so many options. Women have so many options, too. The internet is the culprit here.
Guys were going out with women saying, “On a scale of one to ten, she’s an eight or nine. I’m looking for the ten.” They have the illusion that a more perfect date is just a mouse click away.
Avoid Being the Uninteresting Date: Internet Illusion
The internet has given us the illusion that there are infinite opportunities out there. No one is really taking the time to get to know you anymore. Everyone thinks that they can tell immediately on a first date.
The reason that they have so much bravado to say that is that there are so many more choices. It’s a very interesting phenomenon.
The blahs, as a category, implies that you have to do some homework before you go on your date.
Avoid Being the Uninteresting Date: Prepare
You have to really think through some good stories, funny anecdotes or interesting tidbits about your background that you want to share so that your date isn’t just a demographic data exchange, like a census taker.
In the book, Have Him at Hello, I provide a list of 20 good questions to ask your date that won’t make him yawn. They are fun questions designed to provoke unique dialogue that is a little more creative, stimulating and energetic than just describing the fact that you have three sisters and you grew up in Cleveland.
Do you have any tips to avoid being the uninteresting date? Drop us those tips below in the comments section.
The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Rachel Greenwald
The entire interview transcript is at: Rachel Greenwald Interview: Have Him At Hello!
Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show
Listen to the entire interview on iTunes