Writing Online Dating Profiles: Expert Tips

Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Julie Spira and Dr. Dale Koppel: Julie, tell me about what you’ve found in your experience.

I know that your experience is personal as well as expert.

What do you think about describing what you’re looking for in a partner and in your life as opposed to describing who you think you are in your profile? Is that something you’ve run across?


Julie Spira

I look at online dating profiles because I write them and I work with singles on creating their irresistible profiles.

Writing Online Dating Profiles: Resume of Personal Life

I look at it as your business resume for your personal life.

When I think about people who are looking for their dream job, they make sure that their resume is proofread. They make sure that they are applying to the best dream jobs out there.

Suddenly, they go online and put up a fuzzy picture or a picture with someone’s arm around them. Then they have a profile that is filled with typos and grammatical errors.

Writing Online Dating Profiles: Pay Attention

I say to myself, “Your personal life is going to be with somebody that you meet online that you will hopefully spend the rest of your life with, whereas you might be in the job for a year and half to three years. Why are people paying more attention to their careers and not giving the same level of professionalism to their profiles?

I think you really need to make sure that you are putting your best foot forward and that the snapshot somebody gets of you when they instantly look at you is something inviting, something that will pique their curiosity to want to email you and look forward to your reply.


Dr. Dale Koppel

Writing Online Dating Profiles: Be Unique

I also think that everybody says they’re honest and sincere.

I recommend to people that, when they talk about themselves, they think of something that no one else knows about them or the most interesting thing about them that they can describe in their profile.

Obviously, you have to say something about who you are besides what you’re looking for.

That’s rather than having all of these platitudes like, “I’m honest. I’m sincere. I have a sense of humor. I care about my children and family.” I find that to be another important element to the profile.


Jasbina Ahluwalia

Those are some great insights. Are there any other top tips regarding writing online profiles that either of you can share with our listeners?


Julie Spira

Writing Online Dating Profiles: Keep It Short

I tell people, “Take a good look at your profile and make sure it’s not too long.”

One of my sayings is, “Leave the novel at home.” You’d be surprised. Some of these men start to pour their hearts out, paragraph after paragraph, about a woman who has done them wrong or about the spousal support they have to pay.

They fill their profiles with negative statements. That’s really bad.

Writing Online Dating Profiles: Avoid Negativity

You need to leave the negativity at home.

If you have a sarcastic type of humor, not everyone is going to get it.

You’d be surprised that men will write and talk about what they’re not looking for.

Writing Online Dating Profiles: Write Positive Traits

I say to delete that from your profile and talk about who you are, your most positive traits, what you’re looking for and what really makes you smile.

Think about what makes you smile, whether it’s a trip that you took to South America, a trip to Santa Barbara or antiquing for a day. Smile when you’re writing your profile and put down something about you that’s really positive.


Jasbina Ahluwalia 

I love that. What makes you smile? I think that’s really insightful. Dr. Koppel, do you have any top tips regarding writing online profiles?


Dr. Dale Koppel

I thoroughly agree with Julie.

I’m always appalled when I see all the negativity that people write.

Women will often say, “I’m not looking for a player.” Nobody is. “I’m looking for somebody who takes good care of himself.” I’ve never met a man who didn’t think he took good care of himself.

Writing Online Dating Profiles: Be Analytical

I think people have to be very analytical about what they write. I also feel that profiles are works in progress.

You should not feel that simply because you spent a lot of time writing it at the beginning that you shouldn’t always look at it and revise it when you think it’s the right thing to do.


Tell Us:

What tips or advice do you have when writing online dating profiles? Drop us a line in the comments section.


The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Julie Spira and Dale Koppel.

The entire interview transcript is at: Julie Spira – Dale Koppel Interview – Insights In Online Dating

Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show

Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Navigating Online Dating: Discussion with Dr. Dale Koppel & Julie Spira

Listen to the entire interview on iTunes