When Should You Sleep With Him?

Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Carol Allen: In my experience, those women are coming to me. Tell me one or two things that the eight guys that you interviewed tended to have different opinions on.



Carol Allen

One of my main questions is, “When is it okay to sleep with you?”

There are many different opinions about this with experts.


When Should You Sleep With Him? Some Say…

  • Some say, “Not until he’s exclusive.”
  • Some say, “Not until you know where he stands.”
  • Some say, “Not until you know what it means.”
  • Some say, “Not until you’re engaged.”


There is all kinds of information about this.

When Should You Sleep With Him? Exclusivity

Seven out of the eight guys said, “Ladies, don’t sleep with us until we’re sexually exclusive with you.

We like that. We’re impressed by that. If you sleep with us right away, we think you sleep with everyone right away.”

They kind of sounded like your grandmother. If they can get the milk for free, why buy the cow?


When Should You Sleep With Him? Varies For Each

One guy who was a sex expert said, “You know the difference in your body, heart and women’s intuition between sleeping with a guy and hoping he will like you and sleeping with a guy because you are feeling the magic.

If you feel comfortable, you can tell he likes you, you can tell you like him and you want to see how that’s going to go, who cares if it’s the first date, fifth date or tenth date?

Who cares if you’ve had that conversation? Sleep with us whenever you’re feeling the magic.”


When Should You Sleep With Him? Men Vs. Women

That is a really nice idea but, as you know, women respond to sex differently than men do.

We get more bonded.

We have more of a physiological response that makes us more bonded. We can feel the magic because we’ve had two margaritas.

It’s very tricky with when you’re feeling the magic. Overwhelmingly, the men agreed.

There wasn’t a lot of disagreement. They would say things differently but it wasn’t like one guy said one thing and one guy said another.

Honestly, I was relieved about that. It helps us to have consensus.


Jasbina Ahluwalia

We have some clarity.


Carol Allen

When Should You Sleep With Him? No Competition

Right. They all said some version of, “Make us feel like we’re winning. Never compete with us. Never make us feel beneath you.”


When Should You Sleep With Him? Bossy Women

The number one complaint of matchmakers is that women are bossy on first and second dates.

“Let’s not go there, let’s go here. Don’t sit there, sit here. Don’t order that, order this.”

This is the kind of stuff that women do.


Jasbina Ahluwalia

It’s completely unsolicited.


Carol Allen

It’s completely unsolicited. We don’t even see it.

Men think, “Bossy pants. I’m never calling her again.”

All of the men said some variation of, “Don’t tell us what to do.”

Do you hear that from your male matchmaking clients?


Jasbina Ahluwalia

Yes, in coaching and matchmaking. One of our colleagues was on the radio show a while back. Rachel Greenwald wrote a book where she interviewed about 1,000 guys.


Carol Allen

That’s where I got that.


Tell Us:

When do you feel is the right time to sleep with him? Ladies give us your insight in the comments section below.


The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Carol Allen.

The entire interview transcript is at: Carol Allen Interview – What Men Want

Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show

Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Insights from a Vedic Astrologer & Relationship Coach

Listen to the entire interview on iTunes