Unpredictable Attraction: Embrace It

Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Lori Gottlieb – Author of the book Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough: That’s interesting. During the personal consultations that we conduct as part of our process, we discuss essential needs or must-haves on the one hand and deal-breakers on the other.

I typically find it meaningful to probe the underlying “why” behind each must-have and deal-breaker.

Perhaps for that reason, the following quote from your book really resonated with me.

Must-Haves We Use to Avoid Unpredictable Attraction

You said, “That’s a mistake many of us make. Our must-haves and deal-breakers are the “what” when they should be the “why.” Can you explain that to us?


[More from Jasbina] —> [VIDEO] Intersections Match by Jasbina – From The Founder

—> [VIDEO] I Am Frustrated With Dating – 3 Ways To Take A Break


Lori Gottlieb

That was so interesting. We know what we’re attracted to when we see it.

Unpredictable Attraction: No “Why”

In advance, we often don’t know what it’s going to be. That’s because we know what we’re attracted to but we don’t know why.

Here is an example. Let’s say that you said:

  • I want someone who has a stable job with health insurance.
  • I don’t want to go out with artists. I don’t like artists.
  • I want to go out with someone who is more stable than that.

It turns out that you end up falling in love with a freelance composer. How can that be?


[More from Jasbina] —> [INTERVIEW] Bhuvaneshwari Bhagat Interview – Marriage & Family Counselor


Explaining Unpredictable Attraction

You are attracted to the intellect or ambition of this person. Maybe the composer is very intellectual and ambitious but he doesn’t have a stable corporate job.

Unpredictable Attraction, It Is Undeniable

You don’t know why you’re attracted to that but you know that you’re attracted to that person.

I think we get tripped up by having these very rigid ideas about who it is we will or will not go out with.


Tell Us:

Are you in a relationship with someone who has qualities you once that you did not want in a partner? Share with us in the comments below.


[More from Jasbina] —> [BLOG] Men Seeking More In Women?

—> [VIDEO] How Do I Tell If A Guy Is Worth My Time?

—> [INTERVIEW] Julie Spira – Dale Koppel Interview – Insights In Online Dating

—> [VIDEOS] Melanie Gorman YourTango Video Interviews – Dating & Relationships

The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Lori Gottlieb.

The entire interview transcript is at: Lori Gottlieb Interview – Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough

Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show

Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough – Lori Gottlieb

Listen to the entire interview on iTunes