Voice of Wisdom: In You
Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Debi Berndt, author of Let Love In: You can’t short circuit that. In dating coaching, we’re often pushing people outside of their comfort zone.
This quote really resonated. You said, “Learning to recognize whether your feelings are truly intuitive nudges or old, worn-out fears is the trickiest part of this process.”
Can you share with our listeners what you mean by that?
Voice of Wisdom: Logical Excuse
I talked earlier about Boardroom Betty who is so used to being single that the subconscious will fight to keep her single.
It shows up in the mind as a very logical excuse.
To compare it, think about when someone tries to get on a new workout routine. They get up in the morning. They have intentions. “I want to get that nice, hot body for the beach.”
Then the voice in their head says, “Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just sleep in this morning? Let’s start tomorrow.”
Voice of Wisdom: In Love
That voice does the same thing with love. It’s that dysfunctional.
“I have to keep her away from love” thing.
The whole idea of my book is to let love in. You’re in charge of that love. It’s there for you, but you keep pulling yourself away from it.
Voice of Wisdom: Recognize
You need to acknowledge or understand the difference between the voice that wants to keep you the same and the voice that wants to tear apart this great guy or girl that you just went out with that finds that his feet are too small or his hair was parted on the wrong side.
That’s how that voice will come up. It will cause drama when there is no reason to be drama.
You’ll think, “He didn’t ask me out this Saturday night.” You’re pushing the relationship too soon.
Voice of Wisdom: The Fears
They are the fears that come up about change that lead us in the wrong direction.
Of course there are red flags. I think that a lot of women just don’t know the difference between that true nudge of, “This is not right. Maybe I shouldn’t give this guy another chance because he said this and that.”
Voice of Wisdom: Subtle Nudges
They don’t pay attention to some of the subtle things that they say.
Typically, they believe the jerky guy or girl. Then the nice person is the one they question all the time.
Voice of Wisdom: It’s In You
Really look inside and know the voice of wisdom within you. We all have that voice of wisdom. You know the voice of wisdom by practicing listening to it. You’ll see what happens afterwards.
You will think, “I listened to that voice. That’s the voice that led me to this great job or opportunity. That other voice always screws things up for me.”
Voice of Wisdom: Know Yourself
Everyone’s dialogue in their mind is different so it’s hard to understand what is true. That is where you come in and get to know yourself.
You need to get to know that there is more than one voice in your head.
I’m not saying that you’re nutty, be we all talk to ourselves all the time. You need to know the voice of reason that wants us to have love instead of the voice that is afraid of love.
Do you listen to the voice of wisdom within your head? How do you acknowledge the positive thoughts?
The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Debi Berndt
The entire interview transcript is at: Debi Berndt Interview – Guide To Allow True Love Into Your Life
Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show
Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Let Love In
Listen to the entire interview on iTunes