The Stage of Falling in Love
Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Dr. Pat Love, author of The Truth About Love: I know that our listeners are excited to hear your insights from your wealth of experience and expertise. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your book, The Truth About Love.
In your book, you discuss in depth the various stages of love. I’m hoping you can identify those different stages and share some insights regarding those stages with our listeners.
Dr. Pat Love
(3:14): I think that’s really important.
Love does go through stages.
We’re very familiar with the first stage, which is that falling in love, romantic love or infatuation stage. We’re very familiar with that.
What’s important about that stage is the last word, “stage.” It does have an arc. It has a beginning, a peak and an end.
The Stage of Falling in Love Ends
Couples who say, “We fell in love and we’ve always been in love,” are the ones who, after that stage ends, have the skills to move on to attachment, connection, mature or vintage love.
The Ultimate Stage of Falling in Love
That’s the ultimate stage of long-lasting love. Infatuation is an altered state of consciousness.
We often don’t even know the person we’re with until after that stage passes. It’s an important stage because we all love falling in love.
The Stage of Falling in Love: What We Want
We want to feel that chemistry, the butterflies in the stomach, the attraction and the intensity.
We all want that opportunity to feel the high, the magic, of those beginning days and months.
The Stage of Falling in Love: Post-Rapture
I think it’s important to know that you really don’t know who you’re with until that stage passes and you move on to what I simply call “the post-rapture stage.”
It is important that we know that, for about three to six months, you get this high.
From research, we’re very aware that 18 months to two years into a relationship, you go back to the normal person you’ve always been. Blood samples will be different.
The way you think will be different. Your defenses that were lowered during infatuation will now come back up.
The Stage of Falling in Love: The Past
Couples often say, “You used to want to be romantic with me. You used to talk to me without being asked. You used to take time away from work for me.”
All of that is true. It was driven by those wonderful chemicals that give you that euphoria in the beginning stage.
Nature has designed us so that we get together, meet, mate and feel like procreating, but that is a stage.
The Stage of Falling in Love: Reality
If we stayed in that stage, who would go to work? Who would take care of the household chores? That is just one stage.
Do you miss the stage of falling in love or are you content with the maturity in your relationship? Share your feelings with us in the comments section below.
The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Dr. Pat Love.
The entire interview transcript is at: Dr. Pat Love Interview – Love: The Highs, the Lows, and How You Can Make It Last Forever
Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show
Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Love: The Highs, the Lows, and How You Can Make It Last Forever – Dr. Pat Love
Listen to the entire interview on iTunes