Self-Awareness Attracts The Right Partner

Jasbina Ahluwalia

That is very interesting. Do you have any thoughts based on your experience as a counselor with respect to how to assess compatibility before making that commitment and entering marriage?


Parijat Deshpande

Yes. The best way to do that first, from my experience, is that the more self-aware you are, the better you’re going to be at choosing the person who is right for you.

Self-Awareness Attracts The Right Partner: Evaluate

For example, you may think that you are very social and extroverted.

You may believe that you are like that.

Then you attract somebody who is also like that but it doesn’t really suit your personality.

You might step back and think, “I’m actually kind of on the shy side and that’s okay.”

Self-Awareness Attracts The Right Partner: Learning Process

The more that you accept things about yourself, the more you will be open to seeing somebody who is a much better match for you.


Jasbina Ahluwalia

It’s about raising your own self-awareness so you have clarity on who you would be compatible with. It’s peeling back the layers of your own onion.


Parijat Deshpande



Jasbina Ahluwalia

Based on your experience, what recommendation would you make to a single Indian (South Asian) woman seeking their life partner?

This is generally speaking. Do you have any recommendations you would make if they’re at a point where they’re ready to meet someone?

From your experience working with people who have made that commitment and seeing the issues later on, do you have any thoughts on that?


Parijat Deshpande

Self-Awareness Attracts The Right Partner: What Are You Looking For?

Start with trying to figure out what it is that you’re looking for and why.

Really question why you’re looking for a relationship at this time.

I know that we come across a lot of people, men and women, in the 25 to 35 year-old range who are still single. They are looking for a partner.

Self-Awareness Attracts The Right Partner: Is This What You Want?

When we sit down and really try to figure out why, it looks like they are feeling pressure. They think that’s what they are supposed to be doing.

You want to make sure that when you’re looking for a partner it’s because you genuinely want to.

At that point, spend some time and think about what it is that you want.

  • What are the values that are important to you?
  • What are your beliefs that you would like to see in your partner?
  • What are the things that you’re able to compromise on?

The better picture that you have about yourself, what you would like your life to look like and what you’re willing to compromise on and not compromise on, you turn into a magnet of the right type of people for yourself.


Tell Us:

Self-awareness attracts the right partner, did you find this true in your search for the right partner? Share with us in the comments section below.


The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Parijat Deshpande.

The entire interview transcript is at: Parijat Deshpande Interview: A Clinical Psychologist On Indian Dating & Relationships

Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show

Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Insights from a Marriage Family Therapist

Listen to the entire interview on iTunes