Relationship Models of Women

Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Debi Berndt, author of Let Love In: Yes. I think that there is certain energy. It is all tied up with your thoughts.

In your book, you share 10 different general categories of relationship models that women tend to fall into.

Can you share a couple of them including the false underlying beliefs that are involved?



Debi Berndt

Relationship Models of Women: He’s Not Good Enough

One is the woman who feels like no guy is good enough.

I hear this a lot with my clients. They say, “He’s just not good enough. He’s not this. He doesn’t have that. He’s not ready. He lives in the wrong state. He’s too short. He’s too tall.”


Relationship Models of Women: Never Satisfied

This person is never satisfied.

The underlying cause is that they don’t feel good enough.

When you don’t feel good enough, you’ll either become really clingy and needy with people because you need them to love you or you’ll shut them out. You’ll do the opposite.

There is never that middle ground where you let someone in and check it out.

It’s either off or on. Neither of those extremes work. Feeling not good enough often forces people out of their lives.


Relationship Models of Women: Boardroom Betty

One of the other ones that I talk about is Boardroom Betty. She’s always working.

I work with a lot of women over 35. They’ve created their careers.

I’m in New York. You get a lot of the hard New Yorkers who are career oriented. They just haven’t made time for a man.

Your subconscious gets used to being single so it will think that’s normal. It will fight against anything new coming in.


Relationship Models of Women: Avoid Newness

They tend to keep putting off love because the mind tries to keep you the same all the time. It doesn’t like newness.

It will make these excuses like, “Don’t go to that singles event this week,” or “Don’t join that dating site yet. Maybe next year when I reach VP, then I’ll get serious.”

They put things off. The underlying cause is that they get used to being single.


Relationship Models of Women: Career Goals

They are often reaching for success for another reason, not because they love their job, but because of something else.

Maybe it’s to fuel their own sense of self. They want to feel good enough.

That is typically one of the underlying causes of these issues. Not feeling good enough is one of the big ones.


Tell Us:

Single ladies, do you identify with the relationships models of women detailed here? What similarities do you share? Tell us in the comments section below.


The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Debi Berndt

The entire interview transcript is at: Debi Berndt Interview – Guide To Allow True Love Into Your Life

Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show

Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Let Love In

Listen to the entire interview on iTunes