Reasons Behind Mens Deception

Jasbina Ahluwalia discusses with Dan Crum, author of Is He Lying to You?

You also lay out the following four reasons why men deceive in the first place. I’ll name them and then I’m going to ask you to explain and give examples of each one. The first reason ispreservation. The second reason is courteous. The third reason is privacy. The fourth is deception. Can you explain each of the four and give our listeners an example of each one?



Dan Crum

Reasons Behind Mens Deception: Preservation

A lot of these terms are psychological terms. Preservation is really the preservation of yourself, your persona, your self-esteem and what people think of you.

An example might be that someone knows you as a very successful business person. A reason you might lie would be to preserve the notion and belief that you still are a successful business person, even though you may have been laid off from your job, like many people have.

Someone asks you a question about your job. You don’t say, “I was laid off,” because that’s embarrassing to you. You need to preserve that belief that you’re still successful. You might lie and talk about how great your job is going and how you’re doing well for yourself.


Reasons Behind Mens Deception: Courtesy

The second one is courtesy. When someone lies out of courtesy, it is usually to protect your feelings. You might ask, “Do you like this dress I’m wearing?” or “What do you think of my new haircut?” To be courteous to you, they will tell you, “It looks great. I love it.” In fact, that’s not really the way they feel. They’re lying to be courteous to you.


Reasons Behind Mens Deception: Privacy

The third reason is privacy. It’s when someone has a reason to believe that certain things in their life are meant to remain private. They don’t want to share them, even with people who are close to them, like people they’re in relationships with. Instead of coming out and telling you, “That’s none of your business. That’s private,” they’re going to lie to you.


Reasons Behind Mens Deception: Deletion

They will either leave information out, deletion, or they’re going to give you an outright false statement, fallacy. They’re going to do it in such a way to keep certain aspects of their life private.

Then there is deception. In the book, I say, “Deception, plain and simple.” It’s when you’re lying, not for any justifiable reason. You’re lying, plain and simple. Maybe the person has a habit of lying. Maybe they’re a compulsive liar. Maybe this is a topic that they are not used to giving a true statement about.


Tell Us:

There are four reasons behind mens deception. Tell us how defining deception can help you understand your man better. Leave us some feedback in the comments section below.


The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Dan Crum.

The entire interview transcript is at: Dan Crum Interview – Is He Lying to You?

Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show

Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Is He Lying to you? – Dan Crum

Listen to the entire interview on iTunes