Dating Reasonably: 3 Questions to Ask

Jasbina asks Neely Steinberg – Author of the book ‘Skin in the Game: Unleashing Your Inner Entrepreneur to Find Love’: You recommend that a woman ask herself what you call the “three reasonablys” after every first date. What are those three? How do they help avoid becoming unconstructively extreme while dating?

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Neely Steinberg

Dating Reasonably: 3 Questions To Ask Yourself

  1. Did I have a reasonably good time?
  2. Was I reasonably attracted to him?
  3. Did we have a reasonable amount of common interests?

It doesn’t mean that it had to be the best, most exciting first date of your life. It’s not that you think:

  • I want to marry this man.
  • I know he’s the one.

For myself personally, every time I had that sort of connection with a man on a first date from the very first second, it ended in shambles. You end up putting blinders on to a lot of red flags that start popping up.

Dating Reasonably? Check With These Three Questions

1) Did you have a reasonably good time? Did you have nice conversation? Did you enjoy each other’s company?

It doesn’t have to be to the extreme. If it was a terrible time, of course, I’m not saying to go out on a second date. Find the balance there.

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2) Was I reasonably attracted to him?

He didn’t knock your socks off. He wasn’t 100% your physical ideal but there were certain things that you did find attractive about him.

  • Maybe he had sexy hands
  • A sexy smile
  • Or you liked the way he was dressed.

Instead of poking holes in people, start looking for positives. Was there a reasonable level of attraction?

3) Did you have a reasonable amount of common interests?

Maybe you discover that he has some different interests than you, interests that you might even think are a little strange. You don’t need to have everything in common, just a reasonable amount of common interests.

  • Again, it prevents women from dating in these extremes.
  • They are opening their hearts and minds up to men who, something might blossom over time.
  • It doesn’t have to be an immediate lightning bolt connection.

That’s what happened for Dave and me.

  1. I met him and thought, “That guy was really nice. I’d like to see him again.”
  2. On the second date, I thought, “Wow, this is really starting to build.”
  3. On the third date, I thought, “Yes, this is definitely going somewhere.”

I allowed things to develop and blossom over time.

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What Do You Think?

Have you been dating reasonably? Ask yourself these questions and then let us know your results. Share your thoughts in the comments below.

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The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Neely Steinberg.

The entire interview transcript is at: Neely Steinberg Interview – Unleashing Your Inner Entrepreneur to Find Love

Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show

Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Unleashing Your Inner Entrepreneur to Find Love – Neely Steinberg

Listen to the entire interview on iTunes

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