Perfect Partner Has Same Values
Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Julie Spira and Dr. Dale Koppel: Dr. Koppel, you found your Mr. Right online, as you had mentioned.
You say in your book, “My list proved to be a work in progress. The more men I met, the more deal-breakers I added to it. Still, in the end, I realized that my list had functioned only as a framework, a crutch that I could and did rely on all along the way. Ultimately, the list proved meaningless. When I met my Mr. Right, deal-breakers that I had sworn by for three years flew out the proverbial window.” Tell us about that.
Dr. Dale Koppel
Perfect Partner Has Same Values, Not Politics
In my case, I had been pretty direct.
I wanted to meet somebody who had the same political point of view.
I didn’t want to meet a man who had a kid who sometimes or always lived at home.
I think these are important to have. As I said in my book, it does give you a framework. Otherwise, you’re all over the place.
Perfect Partner Has Same Values: Framework
I think that we actually think in those terms. We think we want to meet people who are very much like we are.
After a while, I found that, even if I went out with a man who didn’t necessarily have the same political beliefs that I had, as long as he wasn’t trying to change me and I wasn’t trying to change him, we got along really well.
I think it’s a matter of doing it enough times. You start understanding the dynamics a little better.
When I started dating again, I had been married for almost 25 years. I was totally out of the system. It was a whole new process, not only because online dating was around and hadn’t been before, but I had to rediscover myself and understand myself better.
I think that’s where the deal-breakers came in. There were some deal-breakers that I would never change my mind about.
Ultimately, what I wanted was a man who had the same value system that I had.
I realized that it wasn’t so much about politics or whether there was a kid who lived at home some of the time or all of the time.
We had the same values. We had the chemistry, which is also something that you can’t really describe in a profile.
If your partner has same values or similar values to you, tell us what some of them are in the comments section below.
The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Julie Spira and Dale Koppel.
The entire interview transcript is at: Julie Spira – Dale Koppel Interview – Insights In Online Dating
Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show
Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Navigating Online Dating: Discussion with Dr. Dale Koppel & Julie Spira
Listen to the entire interview on iTunes