Perfect Partner Does Not Exist

Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Dr. Christine B. Whelan, author of Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women: It may feel better in the short term to label it that way, but in the long term it is not particularly helpful.

Your book, Marry Smart, has a section entitled Thinking Outside the Box. These are words that I use all the time with clients. I would love to hear what you mean by that phrase, thinking outside the box.



Dr. Christine Whelan

The List: Perfect Partner Does Not Exist

Every woman that I’ve ever met, whether or not they will admit it, has the list. She has the list of what she wants in an ideal guy.

Sometimes we write down the things on the list. Sometimes we have the list in our heads. They’re usually pretty long and exhaustive.

That perfect guy, unfortunately, probably doesn’t exist. We ourselves are not perfect.

Perfect Partner Does Not Exist, Think Outside The Box

When I say “thinking outside the box,” instead of thinking that you can only find a guy who is more educated or who makes more money than you, what about thinking about other characteristics that would really make someone compatible?

Perfect Partner Does Not Exist, Compatibility is Key

Let’s say that you’re an investment banker. You work 80 hours a week.

  • Do you really want to be with another investment banker who works 90 or 100 hours a week?
  • Would you prefer to be with someone who is a complementary match for you?

It’s someone who will be the nurturer in the relationship. These relationships in 2010 do not have to fall into traditional gender roles.

Perfect Partner Does Not Exist. Lose Gender Roles

We can think outside the box when it comes to traditional gender roles. Think about what would make you happy and be compatible with your life, not necessarily what your mother, grandmother or society previously would have said would be the right role for you.

Understand who you are. Understand your values. Then think outside the box to see who the right person would be to fulfill your dreams.


Tell Us:

The perfect partner does not exist, but there is someone out there for you! How do you and your partner compliment each other?


The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Dr. Christine Whelan

The entire interview transcript is at: Dr. Christine Whelan Interview – Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women

Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show

Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women

Listen to the entire interview on iTunes