Marriage Requires Teamwork
Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Bhuvaneshwari Bhagat: You mentioned the first one as family issues.
What are some of the issues that you see in terms of family issues? What are some of the best ways to address those issues?
I think the best way to address it is to remember that marriage means you have to be a team.
Often, people think that once you’re married, you’ve done the biggest thing ever, and now it’s all about just living your life.
Marriage Requires Teamwork to Sustain Your Relationship
The wedding is one of the biggest things that you put your attention into. More importantly, I think people should focus on how to sustain your relationship.
People often focus on, “We have to get married. I found the right girl.” They get into the whole big day celebration.
Marriage Requires Teamwork to Avoid Drama
Then, when they get into the everyday life, there are many issues that get built up with the drama of the biggest event that takes place.
This could be about what I should be wearing, what Mom tells me to wear, small cultural differences, food differences or costuming differences.
Believe it or not, even in this day and age, you could be a banker or top-ranking professional and still have these misunderstandings that get built up to being a huge communication issue that builds into a family issue.
Be Prepared Marriage Requires Teamwork
To preempt or mitigate some of those issues, are there any particular topics that you recommend for a couple to consider or address prior to committing to that big day and the marriage itself?
What are you suggestions, looking at it from a preventative perspective?
I would very strongly recommend anyone who is thinking of getting into matrimony that…
- They should first believe in the team.
- Have the conviction.
- Have the built-in trust that it is about standing by your partner.
Marriage Requires Teamwork: A Team of Two
It’s not about the mother. It’s not about the father. It’s not about the sister. It’s not about the brother. These are all peripheral issues.
People constantly think, “I can take care of my husband or wife later. Now let me address my mom’s concerns.”
It’s about remembering that you have to be a very strong team.
- Have a conviction.
- Have that faith and trust built in.
You have to work on it. You can’t think, “I can’t talk about this in front of him. There are taboo things about my mom that I can’t really talk about in front of him.”
Build the sort of relationship between the two of you that brings both of you together as a team rather than looking at it as, “My family, my issues.”
Marriage requires teamwork, have you ever allowed an additional family member butt into your team? How did you handle the situation? Share your experiences with us in the comments section below.
The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Bhuvaneshwari Bhagat.
The entire interview transcript is at: Bhuvaneshwari Bhagat Interview – Marriage & Family Counselor
Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show
Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Insights from an Indian Marriage & Family Counselor
Listen to the entire interview on iTunes