Lower Divorce Rates: Eastern Community
Kristina Lynn asks Jasbina Ahluwalia: Can you tell us how this might be a different viewpoint in the East?
We could probably call it a little more practical. How does this affect the longevity of relationships and marriage as far as the divorce rate?
More importantly, do you see that people are happier? Maybe they’re not getting divorced. Maybe that’s because it’s taboo. Are those relationships really happier?
As you mentioned, the divorce rate is significantly lower in the East. Because we’re dealing with Indians in North America, it is considerably lower than the general population.
Lower Divorce Rates: Taboo
However, it is a taboo in the culture. Is that the reason?
We have that lens where we can see the good and bad as valuable.
When commitment is a decision, divorce is not an option. That is the attitude.
There is good and bad in that.
Lower Divorce Rates: Focus on Positive
The good is that you focus on the positive.
You’re riding out the good and the bad. You’re riding it out as a team.
The people who come to us are not opting for arranged marriage. They’re choosing another avenue.
Lower Divorce Rates: Commitment Centric
One thing that is mentioned over and over again is, “I want someone who has the viewpoint of how important commitment is, how you go through the thick and thin together and how you don’t run out when things get difficult.”
That’s a very common thing that’s mentioned during the consultations with our clients.
I think that viewpoint is internalized by people who grow up with parents in this culture.
Lower Divorce Rates: Generational Shift
There is also a generational shift.
This generational shift applies to Indians and non-Indians in terms of the opportunities that are available to women right now are unparalleled historically.
It’s not only that these opportunities are available but that women are seizing them.
They are things like education and career.
We’re at a really fascinating time historically and the implications that it has with respect to family dynamics.
Lower Divorce Rates: High Achieving Women
I know we have women of different age groups on the line. They tend to be high-achieving women.
I know that this is something that probably speaks to their heart. I want to tell you a little bit about one of our clients.
I think it will give a lot of hope to women, especially those who are high achieving and are looking for a partner who can support them in that.
This is just like how women have historically supported men in their professional endeavors.
I think that we do have a very high achieving population of women listeners.
We have gotten a lot of requests for advice on women’s empowerment. I think that you make an excellent point.
Historically, we’re at a place where we’ve never really been before.
As a result of that, I see some growing pains in the collective consciousness.
Among men and women, there is this confusion of, “What are my roles in a relationship?” You look back at the traditional roles. That doesn’t really seem to work.
At the same time, there hasn’t been a real agreement among us collectively as to what a new paradigm looks like.
When you look around at your social circle, do you notice there is are lower divorce rates in eastern couples? Share your insights with us below in the comments section.
The above is an excerpt from Kristina Lynn’s interview with Jasbina Ahluwalia.
The entire interview transcript is at: