Kinds of Men: Solvers vs Complainers

Jasbina Ahluwalia discusses with Christie Hartman, author of Changing Your Game: A Man’s Guide to Success with WomenFind The Love of Your Life Online:

Things like making changes to your life and how you spend your time play into that. You’re hoping for the best but also keeping a perspective. That chapter definitely helps in parsing that out.

Let’s shift gears and turn to our male listeners. In Changing Your Game, your most recent book, you say that when it comes to dating and women, there are two kinds of men. You term them problem solvers and complainers. Tell us about that. 



Dr. Christie Hartman

That goes back to what we talked about in chapter two of the previous book. That’s about attitude, or what I call mindset. When you’re a man and you want to succeed with women, you can go in with aproblem-solving mindset, which is a can-do attitude. You think, “I’m going to go out there and meet these women. If things don’t go my way, I’m going to figure out a way to get around that.”

You contrast that with the complaining mindset, which is a powerless mindset. This can happen to anyone. When you’ve had struggles with dating, women or something bad happened with your ex, it’s easy to get into this belief of, “I don’t trust women. I don’t like women.” It can really be self-defeating. I encourage men to take on a problem solver’s mindset.

Go out there with this attitude of:

  • “The past is the past. I’m going to make this work for me.”
  • “If that doesn’t work, I’m going to try something that does”
  • “If that doesn’t work, I’m going to keep changing how I think about things until I find   something that does work.”


I encourage men to find the thing that works. Keep trying until you find it. If you’ve had bad experiences in the past, you can change that any time with new experiences.


Tell Us:

There are two kinds of men: solvers vs complainers. How does each type affect relationships? Tell us about your experiences the comments section below.


The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Christie Hartman.

The entire interview transcript is at: Christie Hartman Interview – A Man’s Guide to Success with Women

Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show

Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: A Man’s Guide To Success With Women – Christie Hartman

Listen to the entire interview on iTunes