Intimacy Brings Inner Change

Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Dr. Craig Martin, author of Elemental Love Styles: Part two of your book looks at how to create a happy, healthy relationship as well as provides intimacy skills to help readers work through problem areas with their partners.

I found one of the insights shared in this section of your book particularly compelling. I viewed it as empowering.

Intimacy Brings Inner Change: Dynamic Inner Growth (DIG)

You write, “I’ve spent a lot of time focusing on intimacy. That’s because intimacy makes your relationship meaningful and real. One of intimacy’s major components is Dynamic Inner Growth, or DIG.

DIG is about making better choices. It enables your relationship to work out better. A lasting relationship is one where you’re going to have to work it out.”

Then you write, “DIG is the inner change brought about by self-reflection.”

Will you expand on this empowering insight?



Dr. Craig Martin

I think one of the biggest parts of the book is that second section.

People are kind of aware that they’re going to encounter it, but it’s about having a very conscious idea of the reality that relationships are going to create a change in us for the better.

Intimacy Brings Inner Change: Bad vs Good

We’ve all been in relationships that make us change for the worse. Those relationships don’t work out.

Good relationships cause us to change for the better. Our friends and family say, “Wow, this person is bringing out the best in you.”

Intimacy Brings Inner Change: Self-Chosen

You brought up that self-chosen change. It’s like when someone comes to you and says, “Wow, you spoke to me really harshly just then.” You love them.

You get along with them in such a way that it doesn’t make you feel particularly defensive. You choose to look at that.

You choose to say, “Maybe I did speak to you a little harshly just then. I’m sorry about that. I’ll take a look at that.”

Intimacy Brings Inner Change and Growth

That change that we make in ourselves is one of the fundamental purposes of relationships. They’re there to help us grow.

Through love, we become willing to take a look at ourselves in a way that no other kind of relationship would really allow us to do.


Tell Us:

Intimacy brings inner change, have you seen a change in yourself while in a good relationship? Share your experiences with us in the comments section below.


The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Dr. Craig Martin.

The entire interview transcript is at: Dr. Craig Martin Interview – Find Compatibility and Create a Lasting Relationship

Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show

Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Elemental Love Styles

Listen to the entire interview on iTunes