Flexibility in Young Love

Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Dr. Lisa Bobby, a Board Certified Life Coach: I think it’s wonderful for our listeners to hear these concepts from different people and different vantage points.



Do you see patterns at different ages or stages of life with people who are pre-marital in their 20s and early 30s versus people who are coming to you in their 50s and 60s?

Do you see differences there with respect to negative patterns?


Dr. Lisa Bobby

Flexibility in Young Love: Insecurity

I do think that, in newer relationships, people tend to be less secure in their relationships in general.

I think it takes a little bit less to set people off in newer relationships because they don’t have that history. They don’t know each other on the same level.

However, it doesn’t mean that older relationships are necessarily better off.


Flexibility in Young Love: Positivity

A lot of times, in newer relationships, people still have a lot of positive feelings for each other. Their sense of connection, love, trust and romance has not eroded.


Flexibility in Young Love Versus History

Sometimes in longer term relationships, either people feel more secure and trusting with each other or if these pursue/withdraw patterns have been happening for a long time, their relationship may have been quite damaged through years of that negative pattern.

It depends on the couple.


Jasbina Ahluwalia

You were talking about the early stage pre-marital and the marital. What about pre-marital at different stages of life?

Have you seen any patterns among people who are marrying at an earlier age or people who are in their late 40s or 50s? Do you see a difference in the issues that come up in different stages of life?


Dr. Lisa Bobby

I do. I think it’s more related to the stages of life.


Advantage of Flexibility in Young Love

With younger people, I think they have some advantages. They can be more flexible with each other.

Older people sometimes have entrenched ways of doing things. Imagine that in all capital letters. This is the “WAY TO DO THINGS.”


Learning and Flexibility in Young Love

Sometimes life with a new partner at that point can cause some problems.

At the same time, they may have learned how to be flexible. They have learned how to let things go and younger people sometimes struggle with that.

Younger people can sometimes be a lot more emotionally reactive than older people.

Again, that’s a generalization. It depends a lot on the person.


Tell Us:

Did you feel more flexibility in young love than later in your relationship? Explain the differenced to us in the comments section below.


The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Dr. Lisa Bobby

The entire interview transcript is at: Dr. Lisa Bobby Interview – Relationship Patterns (and How to Overcome Them)

Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show

Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: NetIP Spotlight- Live Your Potential: Relationship Patterns (and How to Overcome Them) – Dr. Lisa Bobby

Listen to the entire interview on iTunes