Flexibility Important in Relationships

Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Dr. Pat Love, author of The Truth About Love: If both partners are motivated to continue the relationship then there are plenty of measures that they can take. There is a lot of timeless wisdom in your book, The Truth About Love.

You discuss tips for the neo-traditional model of marriage, which was prevalent at that time and is even more so today. It takes even more forms than when your book first came out. Discuss a couple of the tips you mentioned.



Dr. Pat Love

In relationship research, almost since research began, one element predicts happiness over the decades. It is flexibility.


Flexibility Important in Relationships: Account for Two

I think flexibility is important, especially in the roles that two people take in a relationship.


Flexibility Important in Relationships: LGBT

One of the reasons why gay and lesbian relationships are strong and have such a good track record is because the roles are not established. You can be flexible about the roles.


Flexibility Important in Relationships: Marriage Research

If you look at marriage research right now, it’s a bimodal curve. This means that there are two big groups that cluster around happiness in relationship.

For the first group, overall marital happiness is down. We’re not as happy in our relationships as we were at one time.

The second group is, when marriages and relationships are good, they’re better than ever.

The reason why they’re better than ever is that they’re more equitable. They’re more fair. They’re more flexible.


Flexibility Important in Relationships: Men vs Women

We can change roles around the breadwinner. We now know that household chores are being shared more equally. It’s not quite equal yet. Childcare is more equal.

If you want a tip, that’s a big one.

Men are changing their attitudes more quickly than women.

A man now views a woman’s earning power as a positive mate selection criteria. It is 51%.

Almost half of women still want a partner to make more money than they do even though they’re more successful and better educated. Flexibility is a really good piece of advice.


Flexibility Important in Relationships: Educate Yourself

Secondly, there are so many workshops now about relationship education.

My bias is that relationships are more difficult today because the stress and expectations are greater. When you put those two elements together, it makes it tougher.

Don’t be afraid to seek help. That’s my second piece of advice.


Tell Us:

Do you see merit in “flexibility important in relationship”? Tell us why or why not in the comments section below.


The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Dr. Pat Love.

The entire interview transcript is at: Dr. Pat Love Interview – Love: The Highs, the Lows, and How You Can Make It Last Forever

Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show

Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Love: The Highs, the Lows, and How You Can Make It Last Forever – Dr. Pat Love

Listen to the entire interview on iTunes