Early Stages of Relationships

Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Dr. Lisa Bobby, a Board Certified Life Coach: Don’t worry about being the first. You’re not giving anything up. You’re actually enhancing the relationship.

I’m sure you’ve seen, the person who starts to do that is not necessarily always the same person. The other person will reciprocate.

It shows how the dynamic of a relationship can be changed by just one person taking that step.

Even if both people aren’t on board initially, one person can be on board and do that. Then, when both people see the truth in that, I imagine it can be a domino effect in a good way.

At the beginning of a relationship, sometimes there is a dynamic where people suddenly lose interest even when they seemed extremely interested before. What’s behind that?



Dr. Lisa Bobby

That can vary a little bit, person to person.


Early Stages of Relationships: Spooked

It’s not uncommon at all for people to get spooked at the beginning of a relationship.

What often happens with that is when people start to idealize a person. They are very quick to rush into a relationship emotionally.

They get super interested in someone. It takes such a long time to really get to know someone.


Early Stages of Relationships: Fantasy

The early stages of a relationship are always a lot of fantasy.

The truth is, you don’t really know who the other person is. That requires a long time of seeing people, how they respond to things and how they behave in different situations.

When people emotionally rush into a relationship with people that they don’t know very well, when the other person does something counter to what they think that person is in their mind, they will often get spooked and pull away.


Early Stages of Relationships: Fragile

The truth is, people who tend to rush into relationships very quickly in an emotional regard have relationships that tend to be fragile, more reactive and more prone to people changing their mind all of a sudden.


Early Stages of Relationships: Slow Growth

This is opposed to relationships that slowly grow over time where people get to know each other bit-by-bit.

In those slower relationships, people are able to take their time, be in reality as they’re getting to know a person and let that unfold as opposed to making those assumptions.

Then, all of a sudden people think, “Wait a minute. You aren’t who I thought you were.” Then they pull back suddenly.

I would think you must see that in your dating coaching.


Tell Us:

What have you learned the in the early stages of relationships you have been in? Drop us a line in the comments section below.


The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Dr. Lisa Bobby

The entire interview transcript is at: Dr. Lisa Bobby Interview – Relationship Patterns (and How to Overcome Them)

Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show

Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: NetIP Spotlight- Live Your Potential: Relationship Patterns (and How to Overcome Them) – Dr. Lisa Bobby

Listen to the entire interview on iTunes