The Disguising the Truth in Relationships
Jasbina Ahluwalia discusses with Dan Crum, author of Is He Lying to You?
Your book identifies 14 types of verbal deception. Please share a couple of them with our listeners that you find to be most common.
The Disguising the Truth in Relationships: The Missing Answer
We mentioned the guilt twists. I mentioned another one that I call the missing answer. One of the most common things that people don’t often notice is that someone will give you a verbal answer to your question, but the answer they give you doesn’t include an answer to your real question. It’s usually something unrelated.
You could ask, “What do you do on Friday nights?” He says a bunch of things in that guilt twist, but none of them include what he does on Friday nights.
A big verbal deceptive behavior is when they give you a response but don’t really answer your question.
The Disguising the Truth in Relationships: The Excuse
Another one is an excuse. You hear them all the time. Men are really good at using excuses. It can be something like, “What did you to do that woman?” He says, “I’m a doctor. My job is to help people, not hurt them.” He is throwing out an excuse as to why he wouldn’t hurt someone but not that he didn’t hurt the person. You’ll hear that all the time.
In my book, I talk about the missing answer. Most of the time, when you hear a verbal deceptive behavior, it doesn’t directly answer the question that you asked. It usually, in some way, talks around it. An excuse is the perfect example of talking around the answer.
The Disguising the Truth in Relationships: The Delay
A delay is another one. Someone might repeat your question. You ask them and they will repeat back what you just asked them.
You say, “Have you ever had a one-night stand?” They say, “Have I ever had a one-night stand?” It’s like a difficult thing for them to understand.
- You’ll see people act like they can’t hear you. You might be in a restaurant. That is a way to delay.
- They might act like they get a phone call.
With the guilt twists that I already talked about, you’ll see many examples of that. There are varying examples in the book. I highly encourage all of you to check out the book. I think you’ll really love it.
Men can be good at disguising the truth. Did you ever fall for any of these deceptive ways? How did you find out? Give us your feedback in the comments section below.
The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Dan Crum.
The entire interview transcript is at: Dan Crum Interview – Is He Lying to You?
Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show
Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Is He Lying to you? – Dan Crum
Listen to the entire interview on iTunes