Dating Mistake: Weak Standards

Jasbina Ahluwalia discusses with Christie Hartman, author of Changing Your Game: A Man’s Guide to Success with WomenFind The Love of Your Life Online:

Let’s talk about mistake number four. This is another one that I found particularly compelling. That is, you have weak standards. Christie, I found your distinction and discussion between being picky and discriminating particularly insightful. Can you share with our listeners about the weak standards chapter and this distinction that you make?



Dr. Christie Hartman

This is another big one, especially for women. It is to differentiate between being picky and being discriminating.

  • We want to have high standards.
  • We want to date with standards.
  • We want to date people who are good, quality people and who are right for us.

Determining what that is can be kind of complicated. I try to illustrate that being picky isn’t really a good way to go about it.

Being picky and focusing on surface characteristics or things that, in the long term don’t really matter, are things that are nice to have but not necessary. They are things like:

  • Some women only want to date tall men.
  • Some women only want to date men of their ethnicity.
  • They only want to date men who make a lot of money or have a certain build.


Weak Standards vs. Long Term Happiness

These things are all bonuses. They’re not usually things that are going to make you happy. What I try to get women to focus on is how he makes you feel when you’re around him.

  • How does he treat you?
  • Do you have shared values?
  • Do you both want to have kids? Do you want to raise your kids the same way?
  • Do you share religious and political beliefs?


Those are the things that cement people together. The rest of it is a bonus. I try to get women to focus more on that stuff and less on the surface stuff.


Tell Us:

Do you have weak standards? Did this information help you get any insights? Leave a comment in the comments section below.


The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Christie Hartman.

The entire interview transcript is at: Christie Hartman Interview – A Man’s Guide to Success with Women

Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show

Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: A Man’s Guide To Success With Women – Christie Hartman

Listen to the entire interview on iTunes