Dating Communication Rules

Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Nancy Slotnick, author of Turn Your Cablight On: Get Your Dream Man in Six Months or Less: In your book, you explain another great analogy of a tennis game with respect to not being the one to call a guy until he has called first. Tell us about that.


Nancy Slotnick

Dating Communication Rules: Volley Communication

There is kind of a volley in communication. This goes on in business as well as in personal communication. It goes on with friends.

You leave a message for someone. Then you wait for them to call you back.

Dating Communication Rules: Wait For a Response

If you keep bombarding them with messages, it starts to look desperate. You start to seem over eager. You start to lose your mystery and cache that the person might have for you.

They might think, “Why is she trying so hard? Maybe she has no other options. Maybe she’s kind of a loser.” It leaves them with a bad taste in their mouth.

I recommend that you always look at it like a tennis game where you’re volleying back and forth.

Dating Communication Rules: Men Make the First Move

You figure out whose court the ball is in. The traditional gender roles are such that, I think it’s always the guy’s serve, but then you could hit the ball back hard.

Let’s say that you go on one date. It’s really the guy’s job to make the next move, in my opinion.

Then you get to find out if he’s interested or not. I don’t believe in sending a thank you email or asking the woman to start pursuing it.

The guy might go along with it but you don’t really know where you stand with him unless you wait for him to call.

Dating Communication Rules: Respond with Power

Once he calls, or whatever move he makes, you can hit the ball back hard.

Let’s say that he texts you the next day to say, “Hey.” You think, “He’s only texting. He’s not even calling. He didn’t even ask me out again.”

You can pick up the phone and call him at that point. That’s what I call “hitting the ball back hard.”


Tell Us:

Do you have any dating communication rules to recommend to the single community? Drop us a line in the comments section below.


The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Nancy Slotnick

The entire interview transcript is at: Nancy Slotnick Interview – Get Your Dream Man in Six Months or Less

Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show

Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Get Your Dream Man in 6 Months or Less

Listen to the entire interview on iTunes