Dating Blind Spots
Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Marla Martenson, author of entitled Hearts on the Line: The Elusive Pursuit of Love in the City of Angels: I know that blind spots are a big thing for everyone. It’s so much easier to see those blind spots from the outside perspective.
What are some of the most common blind spots that you see in dating? Let’s talk about men first.
Dating Blind Spots: He’s Not Interested
If they don’t find a woman physically attractive from the get-go, they will drop the ball or start talking about other women.
They will do something to get that woman to realize that he is not interested.
It’s such a great opportunity to meet another person and learn something.
- Maybe they’re good for one of your friends.
- Maybe it’s a good business opportunity.
- Maybe you’re going to be friends with them or just have a fun evening.
Dating Blind Spots: Too Much Pressure
Instead, people sometimes put too much pressure on that date.
They are out there looking for the right person. They do want to find their soulmate and settle down. Every one is so crucial.
They think, “God, I hope this is the one.” In all likelihood, there is a big chance that it’s not going to be your next husband or wife.
Have a great time. Have a great attitude about it. I think people put too much pressure on it.
I absolutely agree. The funny thing about it is, when you’re having a great time, chances are that your date will be having a great time.
Like you said, even if this person is not going to be your woman, they could be a great single friend to have. They might introduce you to that person.
What about women? What are some of the most common blind spots that you see with women?
Dating Blind Spots: Real-Life Example
Recently, I worked with a very successful gal. She has a fear because the way she was brought up was very poor.
They had to emigrate from another country. She has a fear that she will have to be the breadwinner.
She has a fear that she will not be able to live the lifestyle that she wants and have to be back like her parents were, which is not going to happen. It’s ingrained in her.
She is so set on making sure that the guy makes a certain amount of money and has a certain kind of job.
Dating Blind Spots: Rigid Expectations
I matched her to someone who is successful but he’s taking time out to go back to school and get another degree.
She wouldn’t meet him because he didn’t have a job at that moment.
We’re in a recession. Times are difficult. People are making transitions.
Not everyone will have a job every second. She missed out on meeting a really great, quality, wonderful guy who would be a great husband and father.
She wouldn’t even meet him because he didn’t have a job in that moment. I see this a lot with women, especially in Southern California. They’re set on a certain income level. They need to have a certain status.
If they don’t have it right at that moment, they won’t even meet them. I think people miss out on great, quality people that way.
Have you been crippled by dating blind spots? Tell us about your encounter with dating blind spots in the comments section below.
The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Marla Martenson
The entire interview transcript is at: Marla Martenson Interview – Insights on Matchmaking & Dating
Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show
Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Hearts On The Line – Discussion with Marla Martenson
Listen to the entire interview on iTunes