Why Being Self-Fulfilled Can’t Wait
Jasbina Ahluwalia discusses with Abby Rodman, author of Should You Marry Him? A No-Nonsense, Therapist-Tested Guide to Not Screwing Up the Biggest Decision of Your Life the importance of self fulfillment:
That’s such an opportunity that we have in terms of demonstrating our love to our partners to be the people who really are healing that.
That’s amazing. Like you said, there is a flip to that. That’s the opportunity that it presents. Like anything else, it can be used for good and evil. The opportunity to be that person for the person you love is amazing.
You entitled one of your chapters, Fill in Your Own Blanks. I want you to explain that to our listeners. The chapter did a great job of going into it.
I would love for you to share what that means as well as an example of a way in which you’ve seen this manifested.
Are there any signals or red flags that someone can look for?
Why Being Self-Fulfilled Can’t Wait – Marrying the Appeal
So many times, I have heard women talking about how they decided to marry up, so to speak.
- They found the guy who made tons of money.
- He went to Ivy League schools.
- He did all the things that they didn’t do or didn’t take advantage of doing.
Somehow, by marrying this person, by osmosis, they’re going to reap the benefits of this person’s intellect, education or wealth.
They may even take on this person’s hobbies and interests, all for the sake of being with this person.
Why Being Self-Fulfilled Can’t Wait – The Regrets
What eventually ends up happening as people age into a marriage is that they suddenly realize that they’ve hitched their wagon to someone else.
- They’re not really self-fulfilled.
- They’re not self-actualized.
- They feel that they have given up their interests or not even fully explored their own interests.
Now, they’re in this marriage where they are strangers to themselves.
Why Being Self-Fulfilled Can’t Wait – Self Development
This is important for any woman considering getting married. One of the things that I highly suggest is that she develop her:
- Own interests
- And level of education.
It’s all the things that she might want to do that she should be doing before she enters the marriage, especially if she feels that those things haven’t been fulfilled yet.
Have you experience regrets, given up your dreams for love or complemented your relationship by meeting your own needs? What does being self-fulfilled mean to you? Leave a comment in the comments section below.
The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Abby Rodman.
The entire interview transcript is at: Abby Rodman Interview – Should I Marry Him: A Guide Not to Screw Up
Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show
Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Should I Marry Him – Abby Rodman
Listen to the entire interview on iTunes