Questioning Abnormal Behavior in Relationships

Jasbina Ahluwalia discusses with Dan Crum, author of Is He Lying to You?

That’s excellent. Is there any last thought or take-home message that you’d like to leave our listeners with?



Dan Crum

There is a concept that we didn’t talk about called “WIN.” It stands for What Is Normal? If you want to have an immediate take-away to know if someone is lying to you, this is it.


Questioning Abnormal Behavior in Relationships: Defining Normal

  • Think about what is normal.
  • In every situation that you go into, spend a little bit of time. It could be two or three minutes.
  • Ask normal, easy and non-threatening questions.
  • Determine for yourself what normal behavior is for the person that you’re in a conversation with. Look at what they do with their bodies, how they gesture and how they sit.
  • Listen to the way that they answer questions. They might always say, “Do you know what I mean?” or “Generally.”


People have ways of speaking and moving that are common. It’s normal behavior in answering questions for that person.

Questioning Abnormal Behavior in Relationships: Defining Abnormal

  • Now, you use the same acronym, WIN, turn “is” into “isn’t.”
  • You ask yourself, “What isn’t normal when I ask these relevant, important questions that are related to the thing that I’m trying to determine?”


Now you ask, “What do you do on Friday nights?” All you think about is, “I know what they normally do when they answer. Now I’m going to look for what isn’t normal behavior.”


It kind of encompasses everything that I teach. They always gesture and now they don’t. That isn’t normal for the way they answer.

  • You see them uncross their legs and they normally have them crossed. That isn’t normal.
  • You hear them give a missing answer and they’re usually very direct.
  • They delay and act like they can’t hear you where before they could hear you.


That’s the easiest take-away. It encompasses everything. Remember to WIN, what is normal. Once you figure that out, look for what isn’t normal. Oftentimes, it reveals deception in the person you’re talking to.


Tell Us:

Questioning abnormal behavior directly can be challenging.  How do you determine if your man is acting abnormally? How can this help you in the future? Leave us some feedback in the comments section below.


The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Dan Crum.

The entire interview transcript is at: Dan Crum Interview – Is He Lying to You?

Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show

Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Is He Lying to you? – Dan Crum

Listen to the entire interview on iTunes