Whether you started cooking up your biodata in high school or were inspired by the recent Netflix reality series Indian Matchmaker, some matchmakers take a more modern approach to helping people find love. Jasbina Ahluwalia, founder and president of Intersections Match—a company known for its progressive approach—grew up in the United States and was a lawyer in her previous life. “I realized that many highly accomplished South Asians focus on their education and career early on, so when they are ready to share their lives with a partner, pursuing traditionally arranged marriages doesn’t always resonate,” she says. To bridge that gap, she pioneered a progressive approach toward finding life partners by blending the best of East and West. Here’s Ahluwalia’s best advice for using a matchmaker to find a life partnership.

  1. Understand the difference between romantic feelings and long-term commitment. When one commits, he or she tends to focus on the perceived positive aspects of the partner and relationship. And as what we focus on evolves, commitment tends to grow into greater relationship fulfillment.
  2. There’s no substitute for investing in meaningful time and interaction with a prospective partner before committing to partnership.
  3. Don’t forget that you are in partnership with your matchmaker, so make sure your feel heard and seen. Ensure that you respect your matchmaker’s mind and approach. Most importantly, you need to build trust.
  4. Share with loved ones because you want to, not because you feel obligated. At Ahluwalia’s Intersections Match, there is no formal role for the parents, given the vast diversity of family dynamics, personalities, and perspectives within the Indian diaspora.
  5. Online dating can be a great tool to use on the journey to finding the right partner. In fact, some Intersections Match clients benefit from the company’s highly successful online dating support and strategy. Despite the plethora of low- or even no-cost dating sites, many selective singles seek a more personalized and skillful approach; as well as welcome the opportunity to have matches professionally vetted before investing both their valuable time and emotional energy interacting.