Lorii Abela Interview – Sexy Secrets to a Juicy Love Life
“Sexy Secrets to a Juicy Love Life”
Jasbina Ahluwalia interviews Lorii Abela
A few topics Lorii Abela Address in this interview are:
- (3:28) Bring Personality: Dating Tip
- (5:39) Ex-Patriate Dating Concerns
- (9:08) Learn Local Dating Customs
- (13:35) Dating Ex-Patriates: Tips
- (15:59) Women Push in Relationships
- (19:12) Happiness Attracts The One
- (22:20) Indian Women Want Indian Men!
- (23:55) Divorce Normal in America: Is It?
Lorii Abela had a mission – to find her soulmate in her new homeland New York – one of the biggest cities with millions of singles as seen in Sex and the City. In 1997, it seemed promising. Finding a date was easy but love was aloof, as a plethora of singles were experiencing.
Lorii is a multi-awarded international leader, author, speaker and soulmate expert.
Lorii is originally from Manila. She lived in New York and New Jersey for a total of 8 years. Currently, she lives in Chicago, where she found her Prince in her 40s after kissing many frogs.
(00:46): Hello everyone and welcome to Intersections Match’s Talk Radio, a monthly holistic lifestyle show focused on the continual evolution into the best versions of our authentic selves. We and our guests discuss relationships and health and wellness, each of which contributes to meaningful and fulfilling lives.
This is Jasbina, your host. I’m a former practicing lawyer and the Founder of Intersections Match, the only elite national personalized matchmaking company focused on singles of South Asian descent nationwide in the US. As a professional dating coach and matchmaker, I’m always interested in fresh perspectives from authors, researchers and fellow experts to help me provide the best possible service to our clients.
I’m very excited to welcome author and relationship expert Lorii Abela to our show today. I had the pleasure of meeting Lorii at a matchmaking conference at which I spoke. Lorii is a multi-awarded international leader and motivational speaker, matchmaker and an expert on soulmates.
Co-author of two international bestselling books, Hot Mama in High Heels and Speaking Your Truth, and Sexy Secrets to a Juicy Love Life, Lorii is originally from Manila and now lives with her boyfriend in Chicago where she helps thousands of ex-patriates find their soulmates using the Law of Attraction.
On today’s show, we’ll be discussing Sexy Secrets to a Juicy Love Life. Welcome to the show, Lorii.
(2:01): Thank you so much, Jasbina. I’m so happy to be here. Thank you so much for having me.
(2:08): It’s a pleasure to have you. I love the title of your book.
What led you to create Sexy Secrets to a Juicy Love Life?
(2:17): Of course, everyone wants to be sexy. I’m just joking.
The reason why we created this book is because there are a lot of women who are wondering how they can escape singlehood. Most of the time, they’re frustrated, unhappy and worried.
Will they ever find someone?
I know that you have matched a lot of people. You have helped a lot of people. This book is just one of the avenues. I believe in the way that matchmakers help.
For this book, I collaborated with experts who are matchmakers, dating coaches, psychotherapists and personal coaches.
I wanted to make sure that I covered everything that will help singles.
As a woman, I want to help singles because I’ve been down that avenue. I wondered, “How can I find love?”
I used to live in New York. I was there for eight years. I thought, “What’s happening over here? It seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve had date after date and there’s no connection happening.”
Bring Personality: Dating Tip
(3:28): Your book contains lots of sexy secrets. There is everything from how to attract love to red flags to online dating.
I’m wondering if you will share two or three of those sexy secrets with us revealed in the book. It could be on any of those topics.
(3:58): ): I know there are a lot of people who want to know ways that they can find someone online. That is very popular nowadays.
It all starts with how you present yourself. You can show your best photo, but how do you communicate?
Elaborating on Bring Personality: Dating Tip.
Ex-Patriate Dating Concerns
(5:39): I think those are great points. I agree in terms of the picture.
Physical attraction certainly opens the doors. There is no question about that. But if there is nothing under the hood there, guys want more than that.
It’s the same with women. Substance is very important to commitment-minded guys.
I agree with what you said about the negative thinking. You can get swallowed up in commiserating and getting together for drinks to dish on how guys are jerks.
As I understand, you’ve been focusing on ex-patriates in your work. I would love for you to tell us the additional challenges involved for them in finding love.
You can also share how you define that word.
(6:49): For those who don’t know what “ex-patriate” means, these are people who have moved here from another country.
We already know that the United States is multicultural. It’s a melting pot of all of those people who want to have greener pastures.
When you come over here aiming for work, it’s not only the thing that you worry about. Every aspect of your life is going to change.
People wonder, “Where do I live? Where do I find work? How do I find friends?”
Elaborating on Ex-Patriate Dating Concerns.
Learn Local Dating Customs
(9:08): On one hand, you’re dealing with the basics for the ex-pat. Then, how is the ex-pat received?
Are people looking at the ex-pat and making assumptions on their values based on the fact that they are an ex-pat? This may or may not be true.
We all walk around with these ideas of what it means to come from a particular country or what values and mindset someone might have.
That’s an additional challenge.
On the one hand, you’re dealing with all of this not knowing how you’re being received by people in this country.
Given those pressures, do you have any recommendations on how ex-pats can alleviate these pressures a bit?
(10:07): You have to start from scratch. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to go back to school, because there is no school for learning these things. You have to do your own reading.
You need to learn about dating practices, particularly if you’re looking for someone.
Elaborating on Learn Local Dating Customs.
(12:37): Yes, absolutely. It’s a unique, distinctive part of you. You work with people from all different backgrounds and coming from all different countries?
(12:56): I want to help ex-patriates. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re only from Asia.
That’s for the dating coaching that I offer.
For the matchmaking that I’m about to launch, I’m focusing on Chinese women. I have a male partner who is Chinese. I am welcoming mostly Asians because I understand how it is to be in that situation.
Dating Ex-Patriates: Tips
(13:35): Based on your experience, both personal and professional, for locals who want to pursue a relationship with an Asian ex-pat, what tips or cultural insights can you share with our listeners?
(14:01): You have to remember that all of these people who are ex-patriates usually hang out together.
Let’s say that you met someone in your office. This is not the person who is necessarily for you. Maybe this person is a go-between.
Let’s say this person is hosting a party at his or her house. You go to the party. You want to meet other people that they’re friends with.
Elaborating on Dating Ex-Patriates: Tips.
Women Push in Relationships
(15:59): You have a whole chapter of juicy secrets to dating for ex-pats. You have five secrets.
Would you share the fifth one with our listeners? That is to let things happen.
You mentioned before how women who are ex-pats might be seeing a guy. He thinks they’re friends and she thinks he’s her boyfriend. It’s an interesting segue into the “let things happen” secret. Can you tell our listeners about that?
(16:44): Especially with women, they’re always thinking, “Maybe I have to do something.” They’re so scared.
Sometimes they push so hard that men get scared.
Elaborating on Women Push in Relationships.
Happiness Attracts The One
(19:12): This is instead of getting attached to an outcome right away. We can get into online situations where we’re communicating via phone or email. We haven’t met someone. It’s almost like a fantasy.
We could potentially be projecting things on that person. We can get lulled into thinking that we’re in a relationship. It can be emotionally intense.
I really appreciate you sharing your insights with us, Lorii. I’m wondering if there is any last thought or take-home message that you’d like to leave our listeners with.
(20:06): The first thing that I tell people is that you have to believe. Everything starts with the belief.
If you believe that there is someone out there for you then you will be able to have that. I don’t know if people believe in a higher being, the universe, God or Allah.
Elaborating on Happiness Attracts The One.
(21:25): Thanks, Lorii. It’s been an absolute pleasure. Thank you for coming on.
How can our listeners find you if they want to contact you in the future? What’s the best way for them to do that?
(21:39): They can reach me at my websites. One is HowCanYouFindLove.com. They can connect with me. I have a contact page over there.
They can also reach me at my other website if they’re interested in Asian or Chinese women. That is DefinitelyMustLoveAccents.com.
For those people who are listening over here, if they want some dating coaching and they say, “I heard you on Jasbina’s show,” I am willing to give them a 50% discount for my dating coaching sessions. Your friends are my friends.
Indian Women Want Indian Men!
(22:20): Thank you, Lorii.
Are there any preconceived notions regarding Indians or South Asians from the Southeast Asian perspective, such as Chinese, Korean or Filipino?
Are there any notions as to expectations based on someone being Indian or South Asian?
(22:53): Thank you for asking. I have a lot of Southeast Indian friends. I just learned that Southeast Indian women want to marry Southeast Indian men.
Elaborating on Indian Women Want Indian Men!
Divorce Normal in America: Is It?
(23:55): That’s interesting. It’s a family values aspect. Are there any assumptions or notions that people make about Indian women whether they’re born and raised here or in India?
(24:19): From what I’ve heard, once you have been divorced, people look at you differently.
That’s the good thing about moving to another country. All of those preconceived notions will be banished.
Elaborating on Divorce Normal in America: Is It?
(26:34): It’s been my honor. I appreciate it. As I said, the Southeast Indians are close to my heart because I have friends from there who are very nice to me.
(26:49): That’s wonderful. In case you joined us late or would like to share this show with people in your life, I’d like to remind you that today’s radio show will be archived and available as a podcast on Intersections Match’s website, which is www.IntersectionsMatch.com. I can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. I appreciate you hanging out with us. Do email me with topics you’d like discussed in future shows. Make sure to join us for next month’s show. Take care, everyone.
Has Lorii Abela given you some advice you will use in your dating life? Tell us what in the comments section below.