Issues of Arranged Versus Love Marriage
You mentioned that MySahana sees people anywhere from their 20s in the early stages to 50s and 60s.
I’m wondering if you see different issues in couples who had “arranged” marriages versus couples in “love” marriages. Are there different issues or patterns that you see with one vis-a-vis the other?
Few Differences of Issues of Arranged Versus Love Marriage
I don’t think so. I haven’t seen very many differences. I think they present themselves a little bit differently but the underlying issues are very similar.
Issues of Arranged Versus Love Marriage: Pre-Relationship
For those couples who did not have arranged marriages, a lot of these issues tend to come up prior to marriage.
What I’ve seen as a counselor when I was counseling couples is that those couples don’t have that foundation or knowledge that they can rely on a marriage to be able to work things through. Sometimes they will be really anxious about where the relationship is going.
With an arranged marriage, these issues come up after they are legally married. There isn’t this question of, “Where is my partner going to go?”
Anxiety of Issues of Arranged Versus Love Marriage
Underlying it all, it’s very similar in terms of anxieties about feeling accepted or good enough. A lot of it has to do with communication. “How do I express myself to my partner? How do I make them understand?” with regards to any type of issue.
Those types of things come up often for both sets of couples that I’ve seen.
Did you think there would be a difference in issues of arranged versus love marriage? Share your reflection on this discussion with us in the comments section.
The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Parijat Deshpande.
The entire interview transcript is at: Parijat Deshpande Interview: A Clinical Psychologist On Indian Dating & Relationships
Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show
Listen to the entire interview on iTunes