Choosing Online Dating Profile Picture

Jasbina Ahluwalia asks Julie Spira and Dr. Dale Koppel: Listen to your intuition and your gut on that one. Safety is very important.

You’ve mentioned before the biggest and most typical online dating mistakes that you see people make, both men and women. I know you mentioned negativity before.

Is there anything that you keep coming across both professionally and personally in terms of mistakes that people can avoid and mitigate?


Julie Spira

I think that women shouldn’t chase men over and over again.

If you meet a man, you initiate contact with him, you have a date with him and it goes well, let him contact you. Don’t email him or text message him and say, “I had a good time. When are we getting together again?” You will appear as very needy.

The man has so many other choices that he’s going to ignore the needy one.


Dr. Dale Koppel

We didn’t talk about this.

Choosing Online Dating Profile Picture, Does it Really Look Like You?

A number of times, I met men who did not look at all like their photographs. To me, that is so horrible.

Men say that women do that more than they do. That’s probably true.

I think the worst thing is when you see someone coming towards you and you think, “Oh my goodness. That better not be the person I saw in the photograph.”

The biggest honesty thing is to use recent and accurate photos.


Julie Spira

Choosing Online Dating Profile Picture: The Facebook Craze

That’s really important.

I think there are certain checks and balances now that have been put in place because of the popularity of Facebook. There are 400 million people on Facebook. It’s multi-generational.

There are grandchildren and grandparents on there.

If the recent Facebook photos, from a birthday party or an event, don’t match up to the online dating profiles, someone can figure it out pretty quickly.

This is because of the popularity of the social networking sites.


Jasbina Ahluwalia

That’s interesting. What about pictures? There was a mention of blurry pictures before. What are some other suggestions that both of you have for posting pictures online?


Dr. Dale Koppel

Choosing Online Dating Profile Picture: You Need Two

I always say that it should be a headshot and full body shot. No matter what your body type is, I think it’s very important.

Choosing Online Dating Profile Picture: Including Pets

I’m not a big pet lover. If I saw a man holding a dog, I wouldn’t be that interested in him.

Although, I hear women say, “That says that the guy is really caring.” I didn’t like that.

Choosing Online Dating Profile Picture: Pictures With Kids

I certainly didn’t like photos of men with their children. I think Julie alluded to the cut-off body on the side or an arm hanging over.

There are very distant photos when somebody took a trip and you see them up on a hill. Those are all of my pet peeves about photos.


Julie Spira

I agree with Dale.

I tell people that you really should have a minimum of two photos.

  1. The first one is the head shot.
  2. The second one is the body shot.

Three to five is more ideal so that they can see you in different situations.

Choosing Online Dating Profile Picture: Party Shots?

I am surprised when I see these party shots.

A man’s profile photo will have him and another guy. I’m supposed to figure out which one is the guy who is looking for the date. It turns out that it’s his brother. How are we to know that?

I think that the profile photos are the most important thing.

Choosing Online Dating Profile Picture, Be Authentic

For a woman, we have to realize that these men are visual. They like what they see or they don’t. Not everybody wants a size zero skinny person. Not everybody wants someone who is on the heavier side. There are men that really want you.

You will be found by a terrific guy if you just become authentic in your representation and you put real photos up.

Talk about yourself from your heart and soul.


Dr. Dale Koppel

Choosing Online Dating Profile Picture: Landscapes

I think three to five photos is really good.

I don’t think men who have taken a photography class need to have ten of their favorite sunsets.

I’ve always been amazed at that. People will post photos that have nothing to do with themselves. They don’t even have themselves in the photos.


Jasbina Ahluwalia 

They don’t even have people? It’s just scenery?


Dr. Dale Koppel

Yes. Someone might say, “I’m interested in photography.” Then he thinks that he should put up ten of the photographs that he’s taken on a trip but doesn’t have him in it. It’s sort of an artistic representation.


Julie Spira

It’s interesting. You see some very strange things.

We talked about pets. The only time I’d want to see somebody’s pet is if I was a member of the online dating site, Outside of that, I don’t want to see a man and his dog. I will think that this is the dog that sleeps in bed with him every night.

That’s my visual. It’s not a nice one.


Tell Us:

Choosing online dating profile picture must have taken some thought. What kinds of pictures did you upload that got you the responses you want? Share with us in the comments section below.


The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Julie Spira and Dale Koppel.

The entire interview transcript is at: Julie Spira – Dale Koppel Interview – Insights In Online Dating

Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show

Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Navigating Online Dating: Discussion with Dr. Dale Koppel & Julie Spira

Listen to the entire interview on iTunes